Highlights and more

Our little town of eagleville totally rocked out this year. We finished the season undefeated last night and begin play offs next week.   Blake got in some awesome tackles and it was fun to hear his name called out from the speakers.  It was a close game 19-20 and the crowds roared the whole game. It was one of those happy moments that I wanted to stand still. It was also senior night.  All the senior players, cheerleaders, band members and such walk out to greet their parents. They leave a special message. I wasn't the only one crying when I saw big huge football players grab their mamas and hug them so tight. I love our school and feels so blessed to be a part of it.

We had a crazy fun pep rally at school before the game. It was a glow in the dark pep rally. At one point I looked up to see both my boys in the middle of the gym participating in a battle of the brothers "teach me how to duggy" dance!  I would have expected this from Andrew but to see Blake blew my socks off! After the shock wore off I started yelling and screaming....go solomon's!!! It was so fun to be a part of their school day.


Adoption updates:
 We haven't heard anything from the boys and I believe I had false hope to think I would but I still hoped for that. Many people have stated that this is a bump in our path and to keep going. This was only a test. We have had so many comments like...be patience,  keep praying the right child will come, they just were not the right ones for you and lots of others. I realize the intentions are good and I respect and love that we have so much support but right now all six of us are not comfortable with it. We have been very patience in fact it has been 17 months and lots of money and required lots of patience and faith.    We are not being impatient we are mentally and physically relaxing and rebuilding. This is why we didn't want to foster as a family. We felt safe with the risk involved with this case and it didn't turn out so for now we are taking some time and when we are all comfortable we will or we might revisit the process. Throughout this process we have prayed about many many cases and heard about even more. This one was different. We know the Lord was involved in this case and for whatever reason we were meant to be a part of this case we may never know but we feel for the mental health of our family we have to take some time off. We may take a few weeks, months or longer and we really have to be ok with the fact that some of our family members may not be ok with revisiting this ever and if that is the case we will understand.  We will continue to pray about these decision and know that the Lord knows our hearts.  I'm sure if a stork brought us a little one we would all rejoice but for now this is what we have decided to do.  Our worker, Amanda, has been great and said we can update our home study when we are comfortable and she is not pushing us. We are being very prayerful. We understand the process and in order to have a domestic adoption we are completely aware that people change their minds or other situations arise so because of that  we have to make sure we are all six comfortable. Our four children are a huge part of this process and they need to feel comfortable and ready and Steve and I do as well.  If we didn't have children already this would still be hard but in a different way but because of them we have to make decisions as a group and for some of our children this has been very difficult.   I know this is our business and I don't have to share it but I feel that so many of you have participated with us in so much of this process that I want you to know.
We are thankful for the things we have learned this far and continue to learn. We feel your love and prayers. We know the Lord is watching over us. I have felt His love and tender mercies in so many ways. I am so thankful.

Trying to move forward

We are trying to cope. We are sad. Many say just go for it again, but we need a break. Our hearts are broken right now.  We all need some time off. Thank you for understanding. Yes, we have spent lots of money and time but we still need time to heal.   It is amazing to me how our hearts got so attached in such a short time but it happened and we are trying to move on. What I really want to do is become a stalker and get my huge camera out with my big lens and spy to see if she is really being a mom to them. BUT-I won't do that because it won't do me any good.

In the mean time I am trying to find all things to entertain me and keep me busy.   Lucky for me  I am surrounded daily by 5 year olds. If you have ever been around 5 year olds for any given time you will know there is NEVER a quiet or dull moment. On Monday-my eyes were completely swollen and dark.  I got funniest but yet sweetest comments.."My goodness, Mrs. Solomon, I think you turned into a raccoon over the weekend.  What is wrong with you?  But oh Mrs. Solomon, even if you look like a raccoon today you are still beautiful!"


Yesterday we had to kick James out of our class.  He is continuing to entertain one little girl and make her crazy! She bounced from table to table. She jumped off and on the carpet. She was out of control.  James has been with us many days but today was different. I ask her what in the world has gotten into her. She said, "I can't help it, James is tickling me and he won't stop!" James is a little red friend with white hair. He lives in her imagination and I think he is in mine now too!  We had to ask James to leave and not come back to kindergarten until he can have some self control. Maybe James can come back to kindergarten when he learns how to act.  I actually missed him today!



"Some people come into your life and quickly go, some stay for awhile and leave footprints on your heart.  And we are never, ever the same."

The story

I wanted to post the whole story here for a couple of reasons. It's hard to explain it and so many of you have prayed with us and loved us through this whole process that I want you to know and I don't want to talk about it over and over so this is a good place to tell all. Second, it helps me to process when I blog.

2 weeks ago a birth mom walked into our local agency, heaven sent adoptions. She was the mother of twin boys age 2 almost three. This really doesn't happen. When we began adoption process this is what we wanted but were told it is so rare. We were open to older children.   This birth mom had wanted to choose adoption since they were born but felt like a failure and tried to keep them to please everyone else. She said she had pleased everyone but no one was there for her the entire time. She had a c-section at birth and came home with no one.I could not imagine how hard her life has been. They were busy little boys.   She knew it was in the boys best interest to make adoption plans.   She was young and already a mom of a daughter so she was juggling three children alone.  She was desperate for help and knew she couldn't parent any more. After counseling sessions with the workers there they let her view families that were ready for adoption. Although we were now waiting with American Adoptions for an African American infant,  Heaven Sent had all our info. because they did our home study. They are really the people that know us.

She picked us and we were contacted.  We were told there was a birth father. He would possibly put up a fight but they felt he would not attempt too much of a fight since he has not physically been with them since 2009 and had no phone calls or contact at all since this past May 2011.  We were told it is a risk. He might freak out when he gets the call that they are going up for adoption but since he lived 4 hours away with no job and very behind on child support that they felt we would be safe.  After they were with us for 4-6 months we could file abandonment on him and go forward with the adoption. 
A second risk was the mom might change her mind. I felt ok with both risk. We all felt ok.

We met with the mom at the agency. We loved her. She was a perfect fit for us.  We were able to take the boys that day.  We were so overjoyed and couldn't believe how it all took place.   The plan was for us to take them for the weekend and the mom really see how they did and how she did. She was to meet back at the agency on Monday to discuss plans.
During this first meeting we were also told about an aunt. The only person that has been with the boys in the family. It was an aunt on the father side. She had helped the birth mom with rent, vehicle and seemed to have an interest in them.  We were told she wanted to stay in contact for occasional visits once we bonded with them.  We thought that would work perfect and had no problems.

We got a call on Monday that the birth mom was a little scared about her decision and to be prepared. We had almost expected that call.  The agency met with her and instead of taking them back or wavering  she said she was ready to surrender her rights to us.  We were rejoicing and felt we had made it over the first hurdle. The birth father not showing up for a few more months and we would be good.  The aunt was upset that this was happening.   The father  had been contacted and said  he would not sign rights but still didn't make plans to see them so we still felt we were good. We began to make longer term plans because with the mom surrendering her rights we felt pretty confident it was going in our favor.

We kept cocooning and enjoying.

Thursday, we got another call. The aunt got an attorney on the father's behalf. She wanted the boys and she was going to fight for them by using the father. Her plans were to bring him into court-for him to get custody then sign his rights to her.  The mom had many questions-like where were you when I told you I was going to do this or where were you when I really needed help. I think the aunt didn't really thing she would go through with it and when it actually began to happen she freaked. 

We ask to meet the aunt. We didn't want to fight an ugly battle that cost lots of money and then loose the boys. We didn't know really if the father would show or not and we didn't really know if the aunt would really continue to fight but we did know that every single day they were with us we were all bonding and it would be so hard to loose them after a year or two.  We prayed for the aunt to see our hearts. We couldn't imagine trying to raise these boys without two parents. She travels with her job so we couldn't imagine them being left with so many people when they were already juggled a lot. 

We met on Friday night. She was not going to back off or so it seemed.   I may never know if the aunt could win in a court or if the father ever would make an appearance in court. In my mind I think he would not but I couldn't stand the thoughts of getting any more attached and then loosing them after a year or two because that was a huge risk for all involved.     The meeting was emotional-many tears were shed and it was hard.   The birth mom was there too. She really wanted us to have the boys. It was a hard place for all of us.

The birth mom still hasn't surrendered her rights. She was told not too. If she surrendered to us and the birth father actually appears-we could loose to him and that was for sure a place she didn't want them to go.   She is so torn.  They were taken from our home yesterday. It was as traumatic as it sounds.  I wish I would've been strong enough to make it easier on the boys. I wish I would've sat in the floor and played games with the aunt and the boys till we were all comfortable but I just couldn't.  None of us could.   They hadn't seen the aunt in awhile so it was probably a shock.  Blake, Andrew, Leah Beth and Caroline were in shock as well. They wanted to be present. I had doubts about it but I respected their desires.  The entire week just  happened so fast. They might be ours....they were ours....they were not ours. YUK.  We didn't sign up for fostering. We signed up for eternity.   

We knew it was  risk when we took them in but we thought  it would be a struggle for the mom or the father might possibly make an appearance but we didn't think the aunt would be a problem. We felt pretty confident in the meetings that things would be in our favor.   Part of me thinks the aunt just wanted to win a fight with the mom. I worry that she will just give them to the people she wants to have them.  But another part of me wants to believe she really wants them. We got a text from our social worker as soon as we left them to not get rid of our custody papers yet.  We don't know what that means exactly but we do know that until the aunt and the mom and the dad all agree we are the home for these babies we can't go back and forth for us or for them. 

It was a roller coaster week. We are trying to process and understand our place in all of this. Caroline said it perfect. "I can't explain how I feel, I just don't feel right." 

Many have said just keep pursing adoption there will be another but  I don't think we can handle it.  We love too deep.  If we go foreign where there are other risk and things but people don't change their mind  or want to fight over kids...maybe.   But right now we need rest. 

Thanks for loving us and your kind words, messages, texts, facebooks. We are thankful for our social worker Amanda that fought hard for us and loved us and cried with us and prayed with us.  We are thankful for family that love us and give us support. We are thankful for friends that jumped in and brought dinner, clothes, carseats and offered prayers on our behalf.   We are thankful for Heavenly Father's loving support through this process.  We are thankful to have four children. I can't imagine doing this and coming home without a home full of love to help you heal and stay busy.  We are thankful for Brent and Colin that taught us so much in a short time. 
 

Phil. 4:13 I can do all things through ^aChrist which ^bstrengtheneth me.

Brent and Colin will be leaving our family at 2:00 today and going to live with an aunt. We will miss them and we will remember them for much longer than they will remember us.  We will pray for their transition and for God to bless their sweet hearts.

Our lives have been touched and changed. We feel blessed to have been on this journey even though our hearts are broken. We are thankful for the 8 days we spent together being their parents. We pray for their birth mom as well. She is strong and is trying to make a good choice for her boys.

bad news blues

We got a call yesterday that an aunt had come forward and wanted custody of our new little guys.  You can imagine what our home was like last night. 

We are to meet with the aunt and the birth mom this afternoon to talk it all over. As of now they are still in our care and adjusting fast. 

We hope that this is another bump in the road but will smooth out but we wanted to prepare our children for "just in case" it doesn't work out.

Blake decided we needed a family fast. I am so impressed with his desire to do all he can and then turn the rest over to the Lord. I learn so much from my kids.   So today we will meet with the birth family with faith that the words will flow from our mouths that need to be said. We are praying that the Lord's will for these little guys will be done and we will all be ok with it.  We hope it is us but we understand it might not be. This doesn't make it easy but we understand.   It is not our goal to take someone's children from them. She chose us and still does but the aunt is on the paternal side so his rights are still in place meaning we really don't rights. 

I believe in miracles.

Pray with us that all will go well and peace for these little sweeties that have touched our lives.  Pray for the aunt to soften her heart and to understand us and be touched by the spirit. 

amazed!

Just put the little fellas down for nap. They are so precious. I am feeling such an overload of thankfulness that I wanted to take a moment and record my thoughts.  Our puzzle that we've been trying to fit together is beginning to make more sense.  When we began this journey we didn't seek out a baby. We couldn't understand why we needed to adopt through Heaven Sent instead of our church agency. We prayed and prayed. I interviewed tons of agencies and turns out we clicked with one right here in our town!  If you remember I wanted to go to Africa because I wanted a time line.    Every step of this journey has taken such faith and trust that I can not explain. So much of it has gone against what I would have wanted to do. 

 It is crazy because it is like you know you have a child somewhere but you can't find them and you are willing to do just about anything to find them.  This agency did our home study (Heaven Sent) and really got to know us and our desires in our adoption.  They had us attend hours of training through the state and it didn't really make a lot of sense to us since we knew we wanted to adopt instead of be a foster parent.  In those classes we learned about attachment and adopting children that come into your home not as a newborn.  I couldn't get enough to read on these subjects.  I thought I was crazy because I would check out books, buy books and read all that I could on attachment.  Now all of this serves as such a blessing to me. 

Once we hit a road block with Heaven Sent because placements are so few with what our plans were and the state did not want to work with the agency-Heaven sent directed us to American Adoptions were we needed to save money to become ready again. It was hard to understand but we were willing to do what we felt so lead to do.  We will need the money for legal fees and many other adoption fees. If we had not become prepared we would not have been ready for these precious cuties without completely strapping our family.    
Our birth mom found us through our agency-Heaven Sent. We couldn't have ask for a stronger more beautiful person inside and out to be our birth mom. We love her and respect her beyond anything I can express.  She is a perfect fit for us.    We were lead together. It makes so much sense now.  Some call it coincidence. I call it destiny designed by God.  

****What happens if they have to go back and something doesn't work out the way it is planned?*****
Proverbs 3:5
"Trust in the Lord with all thine  heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."

If our call was to be parents to these little boys forever or for a month we have to do the best we can with what we've been given.    We are so thankful for the lessons we are learning and the way this has brought us closer as a family. 


Now on a not so serious note....it's been awhile since I've carried a two year old around. My arms, back and sides are so sore. I am so out of shape! 

I can't tell you the last time all of us have been up before 7 on a Saturday morning.  We were all up laughing and playing bright and early even the teenagers were up that didn't get home from going out to eat after the game till super late! 

We drove to Krispy Kreme for donuts but we all don't fit in one vehicle! The big boys stayed home and waited!

Yesterday when we picked up Caroline from school we drove around to the football end of the building to tell the big brothers good luck. When Blake and Andrew were leaving the little brothers yelled out "BYE BUBBAS!!!"  We got a good laugh out of that.



Thank you for your prayers. I feel them and know they are working. They are adjusting fast and we are too.
Keep praying!

I want to share everything but there is so much still unknown that I can't really open my book yet. You know I'm dying because I love to share my good news!  I can't wait for you to all meet our sweet, sweet  boys but for now this back picture will have to do. 

Before I get started let me apologize for this crazy post. I am all over the place and this post will be all over the place!!!

We are working on attachment. We are cocooning right now so we can't have a lot of company or go many places.  They have met grandma and nana and a few others.  Steve and I are going to tag team work as we cocoon so they have one of us.    So thankful to have such a great parenting partner. 

  They are so funny! We laugh at absolutely everything they do! 

We put up all the newborn stuff and started working on 4T stuff.  We have had a wonderful outpouring of love and help.   We borrowed car seats for the weekend but plan to get some Monday. Nana bought us underwear, pull ups and socks. We bought a pair of PJ's with helicopters!   Aunt Cynthia is waiting for the word to go shopping!!  The agency got us started on about 4 outfits for each and  Rhonda  equipped us with two toddler beds and bedding. They were so excited tonight as they crawled in their own beds.   They kept saying..."my bed...my bed!!!"  It was so sweet.  Our room is quite a site with our king bed and two toddler beds and the girls mattress! The girls don't want to leave their sides!!!   Blake and Andrew want hourly text with pictures to them at school!   We are all still in shock. It doesn't feel real but it is so much fun!  It happened so fast. We got the call Wednesday to be there on Thursday and whew it's like a whirlwind!

We found out they love planes, helicopters, robots, gummies,  and chicken nuggets from McDonald's!  They love to ride in Steve's big truck and so today we went on 4 rides!

All I can say for sure is this has been the biggest roller coaster of my life.

  All eight of us are emotional and happy and scared and hopeful! Our specific prayer request is for the birth mom to have peace and for the birth father to cooperate.  We need this mountain to move!

Just like when I brought my babies home from the hospital I worried about them until I knew how they liked to be held, fed, changed and what their cries meant. It is so much the same even though they are older. I'm trying to enjoy these moments so I won't look back and wish I'd enjoyed them more! I love rubbing these little brown heads and kissing these little sweet brown cheeks!  We are beyond blessed for this experience. I can't even begin to tell you the thankfulness I feel in my heart. 

How did we get so lucky?

ON a non-adoption note!

Blake and Andrew are now 8-0 season. Andrew got to play tonight!!!! WOW! I missed it but I heard great things.

More to come soon!!!

Thanks for all your sweet emails, prayers,  text and well wishes. They mean so much.  Told you it was all over the place!

"When I in awesome wonder"

Psalms 147:7  "Sing unto the Lord with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God."

I can't say much but wanted to post tonight. I couldn't let this night pass without expressing my complete happiness!  Our lives have been changed and touched in a way that I can not even find the words to write.

1 Samuel 1: 27 "For this child I prayed..."

 We are over joyed times 2!!! Yes! you read it right....times 2! 

We met with a beautiful, brave, and strong birthmother today for a long time. We have two precious 2 year old twin boys! 

How sweet it is!!

We still have a mountain to move-continue to keep our family in your prayers that it will all go smooth!

dearest fall

I don't know if it's the aroma, the sight of  mums all colorful, or the weather but fall is my favorite season. When I was a kid fall reminded me of the fair but now as an adult fall brings a new meaning to me and even more fall break!!!  I love being off the same time as the kiddos. It is so thrilling to get to relax with them and get caught up on life, appointments, projects and even laundry.

 

 

The Solomon crew picked a family building project to do over fall break! We love the game corn hole! We usually borrow Uncle Bruce's game but we decided this would be a fun thing to build together!  If you haven't played it yet try it out.                                     

While the boys went camping the girls went to play! 

We got some Nana spoiling and went couponing! We went to all our favorite goodwill's and thrift stores!

The freaks come out at night!

It's always more fun to make halloween treats while wearing costumes!

If you are cracking up you should have seen Steve and the boys when they got home earlier than we expected and found us baking in these!

All I'm saying is don't knock it till you've tried it.  



pumpkin bread recipe here!

Where is your faith?

Faith is a funny thing. It is either increasing or declining. It seems for me in the hardest walks of my life my faith is heightened. I feel like a rock during those times but when it halts my whole world gets rocked.

I love conference weekend. I especially looked forward to it this year and had been praying to find answers to specific prayers. As Saturday came I felt such a gratitude that I didn't have to spend my day taking pictures and I could spend the day with my husband savoring the words of our leaders.  There have been many times in my life when conference talks seem like they are an answer to a problem or a prayer that I've been seeking answers.  When this talk came on the screen the words made my heart leap. My doubts of our adoption seem to scatter.  The kids and Steve started laughing as I shouted...oh here it is this is my talk.

"Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about"

As we continue on our adoption journey we pray for a birth mother to find us.  We are ready to be more active in our search. In the beginning I felt a little shy to seek after a birth mother when so many that needed a birth mother did not have any children and the Lord has blessed us with four so I guess I felt selfish.  BUT, after little walk through my journal pages reminded me of our strong desires to have more children and my body not cooperating in such a way that allowed us to continue.  I was reminded of my dream from June 11, 2010 and the prayers from the lips of my children.   The doubts began when our monies had been raised but no baby arrived.  More doubts came when the agency said if we raised our budget four more thousand dollars we would have a quicker placement.  It is hard for me to understand.  More doubts began when Steve and I added up the money it takes for Blake and I to drive to our school every day in gas prices $800 a month and that's not including Steve's big gas guzzler. His work is close and his job provides a gas allowance for on the job travel.   It would make so much more sense for us to sale this house and move to our land but moving during an adoption is not a good idea because it changes home study documents and we would have to rent while we build...oh the drama of all that keeps us here!  As soon as I listened to the words of that talk my doubt seemed to disappear!  Here we are- we've made it this far. We have had our eyes opened to a path our family is suppose to take and we cannot  close them!   We are with American adoptions still and also with the state adoptions through adoptuskids.org We  have recently been contacted from the state adoptions for two different sibling cases.  We can also get a placement through a friend or another agency if they contact us directly.   We are open and willing to do what the Lord has in store for our family. Although we've been contacted the process takes a long time. We may not match even if we agree.    We look forward to the end of the puzzle.  We talk about it every single day.  Our family has learned so much from this process and it the puzzle is still missing pieces.  

I understand now why people say just when you think you might be blessing the life of a child it's really the child that is blessing our lives.  

Last night in my scriptures I was reading in  the Book of Mormon...2Nephi 32:3-5, ...wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ: for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.  

Wherefore, now after I have spoken these words, if ye cannot understand them it will be because ye ask not, neither do ye knock; wherefore ye are not brought into the light, but must perish in the dark.  

For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do"

and I love how the Bible goes hand in hand with the Book of Mormon in Luke we read

Luke 11:9 And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

 In our church we do not have a paid ministry. The members serve in a "calling" job in the church as a volunteer and although there is not a monetary blessings there are many blessings that come from the service.  Right now I serve as the young women president. I get to work with the girls ages 12-18.  It is a great season in my life since my Leah Beth is in this program.  

This past summer I got to attend girls camp with these girls.  Spending a week with them opened my eyes to what they are really like and I completely loved them! They are a special group of girlies and so strong in such a hard time to be a teenager.  

One girl did not want to stay. She cried to go home. I felt strong that she needed to stay and as she made the sacrifice she may not have seen the blessings but I did.  So many of the girls look to her and follow her lead. One thing she did for me in particular is she gathered all our girls and ask them if we could say a prayer for our adoption. I was so touched that she would even think of me.  

As I prayed last night I was reminded of her sweet little prayer and how simple it was as she gathered the girls together and prayed the sweetest prayer.   One of the things she said is let Gretchen and Steve find their child and know what they need to do to find their baby.   As soon as I remembered her prayer I remembered the agency saying I needed to use our family blog to get our name out there to help us find our birth mother.  I'm 100 percent sure that those little "remembrances" were not just because since I haven't thought of those things in months.   I may not be great a updating our blog but we are going to try to be better.  Our little profile tells so little about us and to make a video is another 1000 so we are going to go this blog route for awhile. So we ask again for you to join with us in prayer.....I believe that one prayer can do so much but many prayers together can move mountains.  I can't wait to watch the Lord move our mountain!  

oops do you see what we see!

He is everybody's best friend and my little brother.

not so little brother any more!!!

Shhhh....Blake still thinks he's taller!