Here's the plan!

 During the girls dance I talked with another mom that is a big time cheerleader and has remarkable faith that gave me the whipping in to shape I needed.  I needed to get off my pity party and get to work.

The month of April we are going to work super hard. So far this is what we've come up with....
1.  a huge yard sale-already got some big donations (thanks mom)
2. Sale on craigslist and amazon of old photography supplies and mom's big items.
3. We are thinking we might do an ipad drawing (maybe....still researching)
4. possible flip camera drawing (maybe....still researching)
4. Heather offered to sew some of her neat things (still working on this too-she called it sewing for our sweetie!) cute uh!
5. donations spot on my blog
6. still looking for more ideas-any more suggestions...pass them on!


While we raise we will work super hard to finish all american adoption paperwork and go active in the middle of May. Even though we did all our stuff for our foster care adoption the home study is the only thing we can keep from that so it's almost like starting over!

random

Just got home from work late. I had another parent teacher meeting. I feel so responsible for these children I am teaching. When one of them falls behind I can't sleep.  Me+no sleep=grouchy! I started dinner-harping orders for kids to finish their chores and girls get ready for dance then Blake needed a little help looking up something online for his homework so I volunteered to look and I landed on the blog looking to see if any of my blogging buddies blogged today. I think it's an addiction!

I can not figure out how to put the online donation box on my blog. I wanted to begin with Christianne's advice and put a chip in button on my blog. I signed up and it charges 4.75 each time anyone makes a donation. Normally I wouldn't care to pay 4.75 for a service but in this case I need every 4.75 possible!

Did I say how much I am eating humble pie to do this whole fundraiser bit. I know people do it every day. Just today I donated to another's fund...but it still kills me. I am still researching though and trying to fight off this little pride bug on my shoulder.

Recently a new friend told me to journal all these feelings about adoption. I love that advice. Wow there are so many!  I started a blessings notebook when we began. There have already been so many like a free trip to FL. that we just took and I need to blog about some time!!!
I have never been such a fruit loop. OH well maybe I have!  I have really been having a battle with Satan! Today I am good to go and tomorrow none of it makes sense. YO-YO-head!!!!
Better get to helping Blake cause dinner is burning!

A new path in our adoption

We finally have some adoption updates. Adoption is the most beautiful thing. I have witnessed many adoption stories in my life. I have always felt drawn to it even as a young child. My mother put her life in jeopardy to give birth to me therefore it was just my brother and I growing up. I begged my parents to adopt. Back in the day most people that had two children didn't adopt at all. That wasn't really an option.  I tell you this so you know how adoption has touched my heart and how the Lord prepared me for the things that were to come in my life now.

 I have to say my life right now is in a wonderful place. Bringing another child into our family doesn't really make sense at all. My oldest is 16 and my baby is 9. We don't have to do naps or snacks. We can go on fun trips without stopping. In fact, we just got to attend a free vacation to FL. and the whole trip was free of worry!  Everyone is self sufficient. Thinking back to when I brought Caroline home from the hospital and Blake was still 6...well we have come a long way. Life is good. That is why starting OVER sounds and feels insane.  Basically what I am saying is we had our life kind of planned out I guess. We felt done (sort of). Except for this nagging feeling in our hearts that someone was missing.




 I can assure you this child is meant to be in our family because believe me I have tried to ignore all this.  As I watched others adopt  I was sure I was being lead to learn more for my friends that had adopted so I could talk with them and understand.  It all makes perfect sense to me now-I was the one being taught all along the way. My heart was the one softening.  It is amazing to me how the Lord leads you to those that help you to grow.  

Some people are lead to Mexico to find their children. Others are lead to China, Africa and so on. We have been very prayerful about this decision. In fact, I wanted to look at a picture of a child on the listings that we receive and feel that powerful confirmation to know...oh that's my child. But it's like when my water never broke through four deliveries things will not come to me easy. We had to really dig in and do some research. I can tell you through this whole thing...I have said so many times "this is crazy-life is so good" thoughts. The only way I can truly explain this feeling is that when you feel the call or when you know you have a child somewhere there is not much else you can do but surrender to His will! 

Throughout all this journey I am learning so much. Each step of the way I have met people and learned so much from each of them. We have prayed and fasted and given up so many times. I have washed my hands of this whole thing more than I can explain. I have ask "why me!"  The most important thing I have learned is that God knows who our children are. He will lead them to us either by birth or adoption. He knows if they are in Africa or Europe or China or in America.

 We knew for sure our child would be domestic. I wanted to go to another country so I could have a somewhat of a time line!  (There I go planning again.) We went through the foster/adopt program. We felt strong to pay for a home study instead of wait for the free one the state provides. We felt sure to use the agency that we picked but a few weeks ago Steve was frustrated with the whole system and our hearts seemed unsettled. We knew we were suppose to adopt but we did not know if we were on the right path.  We decided to look into every type of adoption. We researched again every avenue. We looked into our church adoption program. We looked foreign. Our agency lead us to another placing agency called American Adoptions. Boom....it was the confirmation we had been looking for. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!  We both felt so good about them.  Instant confirmation like a slap in my face. As I talked to them-I had chills running up and down my back. I didn't see a picture and know this was my child but I for sure had a confirmation. 

 We will be adopting an African-American or biracial infant. There is actually a shortage of parents in the US that are willing to adopt out of their race domestically.   We began the process a few weeks ago. We don't have to do another home study since we didn't go through the state!Yay!  (guess that's why we were lead to use the agency we used) They work with our agency. We have a ton of paper work to fill out and pictures to take to get ourselves ready. We are short thousands of dollars. This is another reason adoption has not really made sense to me. Not having enough money to afford adoption is a big deal to me. I have always tried to help others come up with money to adopt but never wanted to have my own fundraiser for adoption. I guess it is purely a pride thing to feel a certain surety to do something but not have the funds available to complete what you've been ask to do. We are going to fund-raise. I am going to swallow my pride. I have been researching the best types. I would love any advice in this area. I heard selling puzzle pieces really works well.  We are having a yard sale for sure. I am selling some photography props. I would do a picture fund-raiser but my camera is messing up and I don't want to put a lot of money into it right now.  We need about 12-14 thousand dollars more than we have already.  At first that number scared me but I am certain that He qualifies who He calls. I know this is what we are suppose to do so I am not scared anymore.  I am working now as well and depending on how long it takes to get ready we will be saving what we can until then we will fund-raise and save. I also feel safe with this agency because if the birth mother changes her mind at the placement time no monies will be lost.  So yes if we went foreign the cost would be close to what we will pay but we would have somewhat of a time line. If we went through our church adoption program it would be cheaper and we love that program. But, we feel our birth mother and our child will be using this program.   We feel peace and excitement and crazy and feel so happy to share it with our blogging world. Please add us to your prayers as we begin to save up for this big event that the funds will be available as necessary! 

Happy Birthday The big 15!

Another driver in the house! My blonde lady's man has hit the big 15! Can I survive another driver? I have so many gray hairs from the first one that I am going to have to go back to highlights or get some sort of color quick!

This boy is the fun of the party. He is the highlight of our lives. He makes everything more....more fun...more challenging...more interesting....more entertaining....more desirable....more crazy...more lovable....more cuddly...more happy....and just plain more. He makes me smile all the time.  Others old and young are drawn to him. He is fun to tease and to be with. He is the social highlight of our family. He brings our family joy and happiness in ways that I can't find words for. Even though there is a crazy nutty side to this boy there is also a very serious side to him. He has a heart bigger than Texas. He sacrifices his own wants for the needs of others. He holds his priesthood duties in the highest regards. He amazes me how he is always willing to serve others and his family members.    There is NEVER a dull moment with him. I am so happy and blessed to be his mama! Happy Birthday to the  home slice! Hope this year brings him many blessings and more straight A's and no stress for me as he learns to drive!

fun times I don't want to forget!

Sledding with buddies!

Our wrestling team going to state and our boys dressed in their fine looking duds while the whole school k-12 came out to cheer them on and the band played "Rocky" I love our school!

Blake getting to go to ind. state and our family cheering him on! Our very own Rocky!

Our boys camping out with Steve and Uncle A and repelling!

Caroline loves to go to home depot and lowe's building classes. We love them cause they are free!

Life in the fast lane! Trip down memory lane!

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."