A new path in our adoption

We finally have some adoption updates. Adoption is the most beautiful thing. I have witnessed many adoption stories in my life. I have always felt drawn to it even as a young child. My mother put her life in jeopardy to give birth to me therefore it was just my brother and I growing up. I begged my parents to adopt. Back in the day most people that had two children didn't adopt at all. That wasn't really an option.  I tell you this so you know how adoption has touched my heart and how the Lord prepared me for the things that were to come in my life now.

 I have to say my life right now is in a wonderful place. Bringing another child into our family doesn't really make sense at all. My oldest is 16 and my baby is 9. We don't have to do naps or snacks. We can go on fun trips without stopping. In fact, we just got to attend a free vacation to FL. and the whole trip was free of worry!  Everyone is self sufficient. Thinking back to when I brought Caroline home from the hospital and Blake was still 6...well we have come a long way. Life is good. That is why starting OVER sounds and feels insane.  Basically what I am saying is we had our life kind of planned out I guess. We felt done (sort of). Except for this nagging feeling in our hearts that someone was missing.




 I can assure you this child is meant to be in our family because believe me I have tried to ignore all this.  As I watched others adopt  I was sure I was being lead to learn more for my friends that had adopted so I could talk with them and understand.  It all makes perfect sense to me now-I was the one being taught all along the way. My heart was the one softening.  It is amazing to me how the Lord leads you to those that help you to grow.  

Some people are lead to Mexico to find their children. Others are lead to China, Africa and so on. We have been very prayerful about this decision. In fact, I wanted to look at a picture of a child on the listings that we receive and feel that powerful confirmation to know...oh that's my child. But it's like when my water never broke through four deliveries things will not come to me easy. We had to really dig in and do some research. I can tell you through this whole thing...I have said so many times "this is crazy-life is so good" thoughts. The only way I can truly explain this feeling is that when you feel the call or when you know you have a child somewhere there is not much else you can do but surrender to His will! 

Throughout all this journey I am learning so much. Each step of the way I have met people and learned so much from each of them. We have prayed and fasted and given up so many times. I have washed my hands of this whole thing more than I can explain. I have ask "why me!"  The most important thing I have learned is that God knows who our children are. He will lead them to us either by birth or adoption. He knows if they are in Africa or Europe or China or in America.

 We knew for sure our child would be domestic. I wanted to go to another country so I could have a somewhat of a time line!  (There I go planning again.) We went through the foster/adopt program. We felt strong to pay for a home study instead of wait for the free one the state provides. We felt sure to use the agency that we picked but a few weeks ago Steve was frustrated with the whole system and our hearts seemed unsettled. We knew we were suppose to adopt but we did not know if we were on the right path.  We decided to look into every type of adoption. We researched again every avenue. We looked into our church adoption program. We looked foreign. Our agency lead us to another placing agency called American Adoptions. Boom....it was the confirmation we had been looking for. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!  We both felt so good about them.  Instant confirmation like a slap in my face. As I talked to them-I had chills running up and down my back. I didn't see a picture and know this was my child but I for sure had a confirmation. 

 We will be adopting an African-American or biracial infant. There is actually a shortage of parents in the US that are willing to adopt out of their race domestically.   We began the process a few weeks ago. We don't have to do another home study since we didn't go through the state!Yay!  (guess that's why we were lead to use the agency we used) They work with our agency. We have a ton of paper work to fill out and pictures to take to get ourselves ready. We are short thousands of dollars. This is another reason adoption has not really made sense to me. Not having enough money to afford adoption is a big deal to me. I have always tried to help others come up with money to adopt but never wanted to have my own fundraiser for adoption. I guess it is purely a pride thing to feel a certain surety to do something but not have the funds available to complete what you've been ask to do. We are going to fund-raise. I am going to swallow my pride. I have been researching the best types. I would love any advice in this area. I heard selling puzzle pieces really works well.  We are having a yard sale for sure. I am selling some photography props. I would do a picture fund-raiser but my camera is messing up and I don't want to put a lot of money into it right now.  We need about 12-14 thousand dollars more than we have already.  At first that number scared me but I am certain that He qualifies who He calls. I know this is what we are suppose to do so I am not scared anymore.  I am working now as well and depending on how long it takes to get ready we will be saving what we can until then we will fund-raise and save. I also feel safe with this agency because if the birth mother changes her mind at the placement time no monies will be lost.  So yes if we went foreign the cost would be close to what we will pay but we would have somewhat of a time line. If we went through our church adoption program it would be cheaper and we love that program. But, we feel our birth mother and our child will be using this program.   We feel peace and excitement and crazy and feel so happy to share it with our blogging world. Please add us to your prayers as we begin to save up for this big event that the funds will be available as necessary!