Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
old song...New meaning
Blake just got back from a neat school trip for his business class on virtual enterprise. I am staying up late tonight to help him finish an English project that he kinda procrastinated forgot about!! He is writing and I am typing. Despite the few times I couldn't read his hand writing, I have loved every extra minute of reading his writings. It has really made me stop and reflect. It is a pretend journal entry of a man that took the journey west with many other Latter Day Saints. He has had to do some extensive research about real happenings and then his fictional character through his journal tells the story.
It sure makes my life look so simple!
One things that really struck me was the words to a song that was written on the journey. It is amazing how the words are so effective in my life today even though my journey is a cake walk compared to the journey these amazing people traveled. I am thankful for their wisdom and their example that leads on today.
"Come, Come, Ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear; But with joy wend your way. Though hard to you this journey may appear, Grace shall be as your day. Tis better far for us to strive our useless cares from us to drive; Do this, and joy your hearts will swell-All is well! All is well!"
Oh how sweet those words mean to me in so many walks of my life in the past two years and now...the loss of Dad, finishing school, new career, adoption journey...I love the part of "All is well!" What a great reminder of how sweet it is......
It sure makes my life look so simple!
One things that really struck me was the words to a song that was written on the journey. It is amazing how the words are so effective in my life today even though my journey is a cake walk compared to the journey these amazing people traveled. I am thankful for their wisdom and their example that leads on today.
"Come, Come, Ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear; But with joy wend your way. Though hard to you this journey may appear, Grace shall be as your day. Tis better far for us to strive our useless cares from us to drive; Do this, and joy your hearts will swell-All is well! All is well!"
Oh how sweet those words mean to me in so many walks of my life in the past two years and now...the loss of Dad, finishing school, new career, adoption journey...I love the part of "All is well!" What a great reminder of how sweet it is......
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Some Solomon Fun!
We had an amazing football season this year. The season ended on Friday night. It was a wonderful memory for these guys. We went on into the playoffs and won again. This past Friday night we gave up our 11-0 win and ended our season.
One of our biggest highlights of the season was Trace Adtkins singing the National Athem! He is a part of our small town community and cheered our team on throughout the season!
His only request was a good sound system. Steve worked hard all week getting it up and ready for the big night.
Caroline's basketball season began with a bang!
She is ready to roll this year.
Blake has been a little under the weather. Having my mom close by now makes our family have easy access to her witch doctor potions of garlic and junk!
Celebrating Caroline's art work got chosen for our school cookbook this year.
Caroline also is in the middle of her goat training. She is learning all about a goat! This girl cracks us up! (didn't take this interest from her mama for sure)
New hair cuts for this boy. When age 15 hit his straight as a stick hair turned into some major curls. We finally talked him into chopping some of those golden locks off! He's not so sure what the girls will say!
Youth night at church...Human Foosball...that turned into a major dodge ball night. Love our youth!
This is our latest worker! Leah has picked up two new jobs. She had a big babysitting job last weekend and she is now the official Solomon house cleaner. I am loving having a paid assistant. This is after the job picture!
Adoption updates: As of late...we are still not active on the American Adoptions but we have decided to still pursue adoption. We have inquired on several children throughout the US. We have felt so lead throughout this entire process to children that need a family in the US. We are just going to see where it takes us. It is not very common for a family to pursue adoption without DCS becoming involved but it does happen. We are on several agency list-in Arizona, Utah, TN, and many more. It is not a coincidence that we have seen 5 profiles in the last 3 weeks when we saw maybe one before Brent and Colin. They are just rare cases. We are very reserved and very nervous but still praying and trying to follow. It is still hard to understand why we were placed in the lives of Brent and Colin but we did learn a lot especially about the mother of an older child that has done all she can do and feels that she just can't go on. I gained a lot of respect and love for parents that pursue adoption after already trying to parent. I feel like it is one of the most selfless acts and amazing gifts of love to their child. I guess I had thought a lot about a mom that found herself pregnant but not really put a lot of thought into a birth mom that gave all she could and still didn't have enough to take care of the needs of her child. We are not sure the next step yet but this is where we are right now!
I love November. I think it is just a time to reflect for me and really spend time giving thanks.
Wrestling season begins Monday and I am ready to see my boys on the mat!
Monday, November 7, 2011
NEED HELP-easy request-make-a-wish!
I received an email today from a family that is trying to pay it forward to the make-a-wish foundation. This is such an easy request.
Their son was a recipient of a make-a-wish. Because of this wonderful gift they were given they decided they wanted to give back and bless another child and their family. They found out that Macy's department store will donate $2.00 for every letter to Santa Claus they receive up to 1 million dollars for them to provide this make-a-wish. This is huge! That is approximately 142,800 recipients that would receive a make-a-wish.
It's so easy...they need letters to Santa Claus. I was so touched by this wonderful gift I wanted to spread the word.
Their son was a recipient of a make-a-wish. Because of this wonderful gift they were given they decided they wanted to give back and bless another child and their family. They found out that Macy's department store will donate $2.00 for every letter to Santa Claus they receive up to 1 million dollars for them to provide this make-a-wish. This is huge! That is approximately 142,800 recipients that would receive a make-a-wish.
It's so easy...they need letters to Santa Claus. I was so touched by this wonderful gift I wanted to spread the word.
So get your kiddos writing a santa letter and send me your letters. IT'S THIS EASY!
If you are interested please email me solomonfamily6 at yahoo.com and I will send you my address. They are picking up the letters from our school the first week of Dec. so if you could have your Santa letters to me by Dec. 1.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
thankful 5 and 6
#5
My four crazy kiddos! I love being a mom! They are by far the best thing that has ever happened to Steve and I.
They bring me joy every single day. I am so thankful.
#6
My Church...I 'm so thankful to have a wonderful church and support and knowledge that God lives and loves me. My life is full and blessed because of it.
Friday, November 4, 2011
I am thankful for:
My iPhone!
It's one of those things that you lived years without but then once you tasted of the luxury you realized how much you missed!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
I am thankful!!! Day 3
My JOB!!!
I love being a kindergarten teacher. It has to be the world's best job. There are a lot of things with teaching that many "outside of school people" don't really know that teachers do. Believe me---it's a lot! I was raised by teachers so I was well aware of what I was getting into. Teaching is not a 7:30-3:30 job at all BUT lucky for me I love my school and administration. They are wonderful to work with but my favorite part is watching eyes light up when a new skill is learned and the excitement kindergarteners have for life. I love being at the same school with my kids.
People say...don't you miss pictures. I really don't at all. It is so fun to ride to school with my kiddos and run into them throughout the day, be on the same holiday schedule instead of working every weekend and holidays. I love it. I was made to be a teacher. It just feels right.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Thankful post!
Yikes I'm already a day over my goal of posting my thankful list....How did that happen so fast!
Steve is the hardest working and most dedicated daddy.
I have known him to work two jobs 60-70 hours a week while at the same time never miss an event the kids are in and juggle callings of many sorts. During this time he has attended college, served in many different callings like bishopric, ym presidency and scout master, seminary teacher and sunbeam teacher was my favorite. He amazes me how he always serves with full heart and especially his service to our family. He is such a dedicated father. He works extra hard to make sure his children get every opportunity they want to try new things and succeed in all they can and while they do it he never misses the sidelines even if it means driving 12 hours one way and sleeping in a tent! I love how he makes sure we take a family outing even when money is tight and my favorite part is our early morning dates! I am so lucky and thankful.
I am so thankful to be raising a family with someone that believes as I do and has the same goals in life.
NUMBER ONE!!!
I am thankful for:
My husband!
Steve is the hardest working and most dedicated daddy.
I have known him to work two jobs 60-70 hours a week while at the same time never miss an event the kids are in and juggle callings of many sorts. During this time he has attended college, served in many different callings like bishopric, ym presidency and scout master, seminary teacher and sunbeam teacher was my favorite. He amazes me how he always serves with full heart and especially his service to our family. He is such a dedicated father. He works extra hard to make sure his children get every opportunity they want to try new things and succeed in all they can and while they do it he never misses the sidelines even if it means driving 12 hours one way and sleeping in a tent! I love how he makes sure we take a family outing even when money is tight and my favorite part is our early morning dates! I am so lucky and thankful.
I am so thankful to be raising a family with someone that believes as I do and has the same goals in life.
NUMBER TWO!!!
I am thankful:
My mom has moved to town! I love that she is close to us and even when we eventually move to the land she will still be so much closer. I love that we can go get our haircut at the same time. I love that we can go goodwill shopping and watch our Thursday night shows! I love it!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Highlights and more
Our little town of eagleville totally rocked out this year. We finished the season undefeated last night and begin play offs next week. Blake got in some awesome tackles and it was fun to hear his name called out from the speakers. It was a close game 19-20 and the crowds roared the whole game. It was one of those happy moments that I wanted to stand still. It was also senior night. All the senior players, cheerleaders, band members and such walk out to greet their parents. They leave a special message. I wasn't the only one crying when I saw big huge football players grab their mamas and hug them so tight. I love our school and feels so blessed to be a part of it.
We had a crazy fun pep rally at school before the game. It was a glow in the dark pep rally. At one point I looked up to see both my boys in the middle of the gym participating in a battle of the brothers "teach me how to duggy" dance! I would have expected this from Andrew but to see Blake blew my socks off! After the shock wore off I started yelling and screaming....go solomon's!!! It was so fun to be a part of their school day.
Adoption updates:
We haven't heard anything from the boys and I believe I had false hope to think I would but I still hoped for that. Many people have stated that this is a bump in our path and to keep going. This was only a test. We have had so many comments like...be patience, keep praying the right child will come, they just were not the right ones for you and lots of others. I realize the intentions are good and I respect and love that we have so much support but right now all six of us are not comfortable with it. We have been very patience in fact it has been 17 months and lots of money and required lots of patience and faith. We are not being impatient we are mentally and physically relaxing and rebuilding. This is why we didn't want to foster as a family. We felt safe with the risk involved with this case and it didn't turn out so for now we are taking some time and when we are all comfortable we will or we might revisit the process. Throughout this process we have prayed about many many cases and heard about even more. This one was different. We know the Lord was involved in this case and for whatever reason we were meant to be a part of this case we may never know but we feel for the mental health of our family we have to take some time off. We may take a few weeks, months or longer and we really have to be ok with the fact that some of our family members may not be ok with revisiting this ever and if that is the case we will understand. We will continue to pray about these decision and know that the Lord knows our hearts. I'm sure if a stork brought us a little one we would all rejoice but for now this is what we have decided to do. Our worker, Amanda, has been great and said we can update our home study when we are comfortable and she is not pushing us. We are being very prayerful. We understand the process and in order to have a domestic adoption we are completely aware that people change their minds or other situations arise so because of that we have to make sure we are all six comfortable. Our four children are a huge part of this process and they need to feel comfortable and ready and Steve and I do as well. If we didn't have children already this would still be hard but in a different way but because of them we have to make decisions as a group and for some of our children this has been very difficult. I know this is our business and I don't have to share it but I feel that so many of you have participated with us in so much of this process that I want you to know.
We are thankful for the things we have learned this far and continue to learn. We feel your love and prayers. We know the Lord is watching over us. I have felt His love and tender mercies in so many ways. I am so thankful.
We had a crazy fun pep rally at school before the game. It was a glow in the dark pep rally. At one point I looked up to see both my boys in the middle of the gym participating in a battle of the brothers "teach me how to duggy" dance! I would have expected this from Andrew but to see Blake blew my socks off! After the shock wore off I started yelling and screaming....go solomon's!!! It was so fun to be a part of their school day.
Adoption updates:
We haven't heard anything from the boys and I believe I had false hope to think I would but I still hoped for that. Many people have stated that this is a bump in our path and to keep going. This was only a test. We have had so many comments like...be patience, keep praying the right child will come, they just were not the right ones for you and lots of others. I realize the intentions are good and I respect and love that we have so much support but right now all six of us are not comfortable with it. We have been very patience in fact it has been 17 months and lots of money and required lots of patience and faith. We are not being impatient we are mentally and physically relaxing and rebuilding. This is why we didn't want to foster as a family. We felt safe with the risk involved with this case and it didn't turn out so for now we are taking some time and when we are all comfortable we will or we might revisit the process. Throughout this process we have prayed about many many cases and heard about even more. This one was different. We know the Lord was involved in this case and for whatever reason we were meant to be a part of this case we may never know but we feel for the mental health of our family we have to take some time off. We may take a few weeks, months or longer and we really have to be ok with the fact that some of our family members may not be ok with revisiting this ever and if that is the case we will understand. We will continue to pray about these decision and know that the Lord knows our hearts. I'm sure if a stork brought us a little one we would all rejoice but for now this is what we have decided to do. Our worker, Amanda, has been great and said we can update our home study when we are comfortable and she is not pushing us. We are being very prayerful. We understand the process and in order to have a domestic adoption we are completely aware that people change their minds or other situations arise so because of that we have to make sure we are all six comfortable. Our four children are a huge part of this process and they need to feel comfortable and ready and Steve and I do as well. If we didn't have children already this would still be hard but in a different way but because of them we have to make decisions as a group and for some of our children this has been very difficult. I know this is our business and I don't have to share it but I feel that so many of you have participated with us in so much of this process that I want you to know.
We are thankful for the things we have learned this far and continue to learn. We feel your love and prayers. We know the Lord is watching over us. I have felt His love and tender mercies in so many ways. I am so thankful.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Trying to move forward
We are trying to cope. We are sad. Many say just go for it again, but we need a break. Our hearts are broken right now. We all need some time off. Thank you for understanding. Yes, we have spent lots of money and time but we still need time to heal. It is amazing to me how our hearts got so attached in such a short time but it happened and we are trying to move on. What I really want to do is become a stalker and get my huge camera out with my big lens and spy to see if she is really being a mom to them. BUT-I won't do that because it won't do me any good.
In the mean time I am trying to find all things to entertain me and keep me busy. Lucky for me I am surrounded daily by 5 year olds. If you have ever been around 5 year olds for any given time you will know there is NEVER a quiet or dull moment. On Monday-my eyes were completely swollen and dark. I got funniest but yet sweetest comments.."My goodness, Mrs. Solomon, I think you turned into a raccoon over the weekend. What is wrong with you? But oh Mrs. Solomon, even if you look like a raccoon today you are still beautiful!"
Yesterday we had to kick James out of our class. He is continuing to entertain one little girl and make her crazy! She bounced from table to table. She jumped off and on the carpet. She was out of control. James has been with us many days but today was different. I ask her what in the world has gotten into her. She said, "I can't help it, James is tickling me and he won't stop!" James is a little red friend with white hair. He lives in her imagination and I think he is in mine now too! We had to ask James to leave and not come back to kindergarten until he can have some self control. Maybe James can come back to kindergarten when he learns how to act. I actually missed him today!
"Some people come into your life and quickly go, some stay for awhile and leave footprints on your heart. And we are never, ever the same."
In the mean time I am trying to find all things to entertain me and keep me busy. Lucky for me I am surrounded daily by 5 year olds. If you have ever been around 5 year olds for any given time you will know there is NEVER a quiet or dull moment. On Monday-my eyes were completely swollen and dark. I got funniest but yet sweetest comments.."My goodness, Mrs. Solomon, I think you turned into a raccoon over the weekend. What is wrong with you? But oh Mrs. Solomon, even if you look like a raccoon today you are still beautiful!"
Yesterday we had to kick James out of our class. He is continuing to entertain one little girl and make her crazy! She bounced from table to table. She jumped off and on the carpet. She was out of control. James has been with us many days but today was different. I ask her what in the world has gotten into her. She said, "I can't help it, James is tickling me and he won't stop!" James is a little red friend with white hair. He lives in her imagination and I think he is in mine now too! We had to ask James to leave and not come back to kindergarten until he can have some self control. Maybe James can come back to kindergarten when he learns how to act. I actually missed him today!
"Some people come into your life and quickly go, some stay for awhile and leave footprints on your heart. And we are never, ever the same."
Sunday, October 23, 2011
The story
I wanted to post the whole story here for a couple of reasons. It's hard to explain it and so many of you have prayed with us and loved us through this whole process that I want you to know and I don't want to talk about it over and over so this is a good place to tell all. Second, it helps me to process when I blog.
2 weeks ago a birth mom walked into our local agency, heaven sent adoptions. She was the mother of twin boys age 2 almost three. This really doesn't happen. When we began adoption process this is what we wanted but were told it is so rare. We were open to older children. This birth mom had wanted to choose adoption since they were born but felt like a failure and tried to keep them to please everyone else. She said she had pleased everyone but no one was there for her the entire time. She had a c-section at birth and came home with no one.I could not imagine how hard her life has been. They were busy little boys. She knew it was in the boys best interest to make adoption plans. She was young and already a mom of a daughter so she was juggling three children alone. She was desperate for help and knew she couldn't parent any more. After counseling sessions with the workers there they let her view families that were ready for adoption. Although we were now waiting with American Adoptions for an African American infant, Heaven Sent had all our info. because they did our home study. They are really the people that know us.
She picked us and we were contacted. We were told there was a birth father. He would possibly put up a fight but they felt he would not attempt too much of a fight since he has not physically been with them since 2009 and had no phone calls or contact at all since this past May 2011. We were told it is a risk. He might freak out when he gets the call that they are going up for adoption but since he lived 4 hours away with no job and very behind on child support that they felt we would be safe. After they were with us for 4-6 months we could file abandonment on him and go forward with the adoption.
A second risk was the mom might change her mind. I felt ok with both risk. We all felt ok.
We met with the mom at the agency. We loved her. She was a perfect fit for us. We were able to take the boys that day. We were so overjoyed and couldn't believe how it all took place. The plan was for us to take them for the weekend and the mom really see how they did and how she did. She was to meet back at the agency on Monday to discuss plans.
During this first meeting we were also told about an aunt. The only person that has been with the boys in the family. It was an aunt on the father side. She had helped the birth mom with rent, vehicle and seemed to have an interest in them. We were told she wanted to stay in contact for occasional visits once we bonded with them. We thought that would work perfect and had no problems.
We got a call on Monday that the birth mom was a little scared about her decision and to be prepared. We had almost expected that call. The agency met with her and instead of taking them back or wavering she said she was ready to surrender her rights to us. We were rejoicing and felt we had made it over the first hurdle. The birth father not showing up for a few more months and we would be good. The aunt was upset that this was happening. The father had been contacted and said he would not sign rights but still didn't make plans to see them so we still felt we were good. We began to make longer term plans because with the mom surrendering her rights we felt pretty confident it was going in our favor.
We kept cocooning and enjoying.
Thursday, we got another call. The aunt got an attorney on the father's behalf. She wanted the boys and she was going to fight for them by using the father. Her plans were to bring him into court-for him to get custody then sign his rights to her. The mom had many questions-like where were you when I told you I was going to do this or where were you when I really needed help. I think the aunt didn't really thing she would go through with it and when it actually began to happen she freaked.
We ask to meet the aunt. We didn't want to fight an ugly battle that cost lots of money and then loose the boys. We didn't know really if the father would show or not and we didn't really know if the aunt would really continue to fight but we did know that every single day they were with us we were all bonding and it would be so hard to loose them after a year or two. We prayed for the aunt to see our hearts. We couldn't imagine trying to raise these boys without two parents. She travels with her job so we couldn't imagine them being left with so many people when they were already juggled a lot.
We met on Friday night. She was not going to back off or so it seemed. I may never know if the aunt could win in a court or if the father ever would make an appearance in court. In my mind I think he would not but I couldn't stand the thoughts of getting any more attached and then loosing them after a year or two because that was a huge risk for all involved. The meeting was emotional-many tears were shed and it was hard. The birth mom was there too. She really wanted us to have the boys. It was a hard place for all of us.
The birth mom still hasn't surrendered her rights. She was told not too. If she surrendered to us and the birth father actually appears-we could loose to him and that was for sure a place she didn't want them to go. She is so torn. They were taken from our home yesterday. It was as traumatic as it sounds. I wish I would've been strong enough to make it easier on the boys. I wish I would've sat in the floor and played games with the aunt and the boys till we were all comfortable but I just couldn't. None of us could. They hadn't seen the aunt in awhile so it was probably a shock. Blake, Andrew, Leah Beth and Caroline were in shock as well. They wanted to be present. I had doubts about it but I respected their desires. The entire week just happened so fast. They might be ours....they were ours....they were not ours. YUK. We didn't sign up for fostering. We signed up for eternity.
We knew it was risk when we took them in but we thought it would be a struggle for the mom or the father might possibly make an appearance but we didn't think the aunt would be a problem. We felt pretty confident in the meetings that things would be in our favor. Part of me thinks the aunt just wanted to win a fight with the mom. I worry that she will just give them to the people she wants to have them. But another part of me wants to believe she really wants them. We got a text from our social worker as soon as we left them to not get rid of our custody papers yet. We don't know what that means exactly but we do know that until the aunt and the mom and the dad all agree we are the home for these babies we can't go back and forth for us or for them.
It was a roller coaster week. We are trying to process and understand our place in all of this. Caroline said it perfect. "I can't explain how I feel, I just don't feel right."
Many have said just keep pursing adoption there will be another but I don't think we can handle it. We love too deep. If we go foreign where there are other risk and things but people don't change their mind or want to fight over kids...maybe. But right now we need rest.
Thanks for loving us and your kind words, messages, texts, facebooks. We are thankful for our social worker Amanda that fought hard for us and loved us and cried with us and prayed with us. We are thankful for family that love us and give us support. We are thankful for friends that jumped in and brought dinner, clothes, carseats and offered prayers on our behalf. We are thankful for Heavenly Father's loving support through this process. We are thankful to have four children. I can't imagine doing this and coming home without a home full of love to help you heal and stay busy. We are thankful for Brent and Colin that taught us so much in a short time.
2 weeks ago a birth mom walked into our local agency, heaven sent adoptions. She was the mother of twin boys age 2 almost three. This really doesn't happen. When we began adoption process this is what we wanted but were told it is so rare. We were open to older children. This birth mom had wanted to choose adoption since they were born but felt like a failure and tried to keep them to please everyone else. She said she had pleased everyone but no one was there for her the entire time. She had a c-section at birth and came home with no one.I could not imagine how hard her life has been. They were busy little boys. She knew it was in the boys best interest to make adoption plans. She was young and already a mom of a daughter so she was juggling three children alone. She was desperate for help and knew she couldn't parent any more. After counseling sessions with the workers there they let her view families that were ready for adoption. Although we were now waiting with American Adoptions for an African American infant, Heaven Sent had all our info. because they did our home study. They are really the people that know us.
She picked us and we were contacted. We were told there was a birth father. He would possibly put up a fight but they felt he would not attempt too much of a fight since he has not physically been with them since 2009 and had no phone calls or contact at all since this past May 2011. We were told it is a risk. He might freak out when he gets the call that they are going up for adoption but since he lived 4 hours away with no job and very behind on child support that they felt we would be safe. After they were with us for 4-6 months we could file abandonment on him and go forward with the adoption.
A second risk was the mom might change her mind. I felt ok with both risk. We all felt ok.
We met with the mom at the agency. We loved her. She was a perfect fit for us. We were able to take the boys that day. We were so overjoyed and couldn't believe how it all took place. The plan was for us to take them for the weekend and the mom really see how they did and how she did. She was to meet back at the agency on Monday to discuss plans.
During this first meeting we were also told about an aunt. The only person that has been with the boys in the family. It was an aunt on the father side. She had helped the birth mom with rent, vehicle and seemed to have an interest in them. We were told she wanted to stay in contact for occasional visits once we bonded with them. We thought that would work perfect and had no problems.
We got a call on Monday that the birth mom was a little scared about her decision and to be prepared. We had almost expected that call. The agency met with her and instead of taking them back or wavering she said she was ready to surrender her rights to us. We were rejoicing and felt we had made it over the first hurdle. The birth father not showing up for a few more months and we would be good. The aunt was upset that this was happening. The father had been contacted and said he would not sign rights but still didn't make plans to see them so we still felt we were good. We began to make longer term plans because with the mom surrendering her rights we felt pretty confident it was going in our favor.
We kept cocooning and enjoying.
Thursday, we got another call. The aunt got an attorney on the father's behalf. She wanted the boys and she was going to fight for them by using the father. Her plans were to bring him into court-for him to get custody then sign his rights to her. The mom had many questions-like where were you when I told you I was going to do this or where were you when I really needed help. I think the aunt didn't really thing she would go through with it and when it actually began to happen she freaked.
We ask to meet the aunt. We didn't want to fight an ugly battle that cost lots of money and then loose the boys. We didn't know really if the father would show or not and we didn't really know if the aunt would really continue to fight but we did know that every single day they were with us we were all bonding and it would be so hard to loose them after a year or two. We prayed for the aunt to see our hearts. We couldn't imagine trying to raise these boys without two parents. She travels with her job so we couldn't imagine them being left with so many people when they were already juggled a lot.
We met on Friday night. She was not going to back off or so it seemed. I may never know if the aunt could win in a court or if the father ever would make an appearance in court. In my mind I think he would not but I couldn't stand the thoughts of getting any more attached and then loosing them after a year or two because that was a huge risk for all involved. The meeting was emotional-many tears were shed and it was hard. The birth mom was there too. She really wanted us to have the boys. It was a hard place for all of us.
The birth mom still hasn't surrendered her rights. She was told not too. If she surrendered to us and the birth father actually appears-we could loose to him and that was for sure a place she didn't want them to go. She is so torn. They were taken from our home yesterday. It was as traumatic as it sounds. I wish I would've been strong enough to make it easier on the boys. I wish I would've sat in the floor and played games with the aunt and the boys till we were all comfortable but I just couldn't. None of us could. They hadn't seen the aunt in awhile so it was probably a shock. Blake, Andrew, Leah Beth and Caroline were in shock as well. They wanted to be present. I had doubts about it but I respected their desires. The entire week just happened so fast. They might be ours....they were ours....they were not ours. YUK. We didn't sign up for fostering. We signed up for eternity.
We knew it was risk when we took them in but we thought it would be a struggle for the mom or the father might possibly make an appearance but we didn't think the aunt would be a problem. We felt pretty confident in the meetings that things would be in our favor. Part of me thinks the aunt just wanted to win a fight with the mom. I worry that she will just give them to the people she wants to have them. But another part of me wants to believe she really wants them. We got a text from our social worker as soon as we left them to not get rid of our custody papers yet. We don't know what that means exactly but we do know that until the aunt and the mom and the dad all agree we are the home for these babies we can't go back and forth for us or for them.
It was a roller coaster week. We are trying to process and understand our place in all of this. Caroline said it perfect. "I can't explain how I feel, I just don't feel right."
Many have said just keep pursing adoption there will be another but I don't think we can handle it. We love too deep. If we go foreign where there are other risk and things but people don't change their mind or want to fight over kids...maybe. But right now we need rest.
Thanks for loving us and your kind words, messages, texts, facebooks. We are thankful for our social worker Amanda that fought hard for us and loved us and cried with us and prayed with us. We are thankful for family that love us and give us support. We are thankful for friends that jumped in and brought dinner, clothes, carseats and offered prayers on our behalf. We are thankful for Heavenly Father's loving support through this process. We are thankful to have four children. I can't imagine doing this and coming home without a home full of love to help you heal and stay busy. We are thankful for Brent and Colin that taught us so much in a short time.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Brent and Colin will be leaving our family at 2:00 today and going to live with an aunt. We will miss them and we will remember them for much longer than they will remember us. We will pray for their transition and for God to bless their sweet hearts.
Our lives have been touched and changed. We feel blessed to have been on this journey even though our hearts are broken. We are thankful for the 8 days we spent together being their parents. We pray for their birth mom as well. She is strong and is trying to make a good choice for her boys.
Friday, October 21, 2011
bad news blues
We got a call yesterday that an aunt had come forward and wanted custody of our new little guys. You can imagine what our home was like last night.
We are to meet with the aunt and the birth mom this afternoon to talk it all over. As of now they are still in our care and adjusting fast.
We hope that this is another bump in the road but will smooth out but we wanted to prepare our children for "just in case" it doesn't work out.
Blake decided we needed a family fast. I am so impressed with his desire to do all he can and then turn the rest over to the Lord. I learn so much from my kids. So today we will meet with the birth family with faith that the words will flow from our mouths that need to be said. We are praying that the Lord's will for these little guys will be done and we will all be ok with it. We hope it is us but we understand it might not be. This doesn't make it easy but we understand. It is not our goal to take someone's children from them. She chose us and still does but the aunt is on the paternal side so his rights are still in place meaning we really don't rights.
I believe in miracles.
Pray with us that all will go well and peace for these little sweeties that have touched our lives. Pray for the aunt to soften her heart and to understand us and be touched by the spirit.
We are to meet with the aunt and the birth mom this afternoon to talk it all over. As of now they are still in our care and adjusting fast.
We hope that this is another bump in the road but will smooth out but we wanted to prepare our children for "just in case" it doesn't work out.
Blake decided we needed a family fast. I am so impressed with his desire to do all he can and then turn the rest over to the Lord. I learn so much from my kids. So today we will meet with the birth family with faith that the words will flow from our mouths that need to be said. We are praying that the Lord's will for these little guys will be done and we will all be ok with it. We hope it is us but we understand it might not be. This doesn't make it easy but we understand. It is not our goal to take someone's children from them. She chose us and still does but the aunt is on the paternal side so his rights are still in place meaning we really don't rights.
I believe in miracles.
Pray with us that all will go well and peace for these little sweeties that have touched our lives. Pray for the aunt to soften her heart and to understand us and be touched by the spirit.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
amazed!
Just put the little fellas down for nap. They are so precious. I am feeling such an overload of thankfulness that I wanted to take a moment and record my thoughts. Our puzzle that we've been trying to fit together is beginning to make more sense. When we began this journey we didn't seek out a baby. We couldn't understand why we needed to adopt through Heaven Sent instead of our church agency. We prayed and prayed. I interviewed tons of agencies and turns out we clicked with one right here in our town! If you remember I wanted to go to Africa because I wanted a time line. Every step of this journey has taken such faith and trust that I can not explain. So much of it has gone against what I would have wanted to do.
It is crazy because it is like you know you have a child somewhere but you can't find them and you are willing to do just about anything to find them. This agency did our home study (Heaven Sent) and really got to know us and our desires in our adoption. They had us attend hours of training through the state and it didn't really make a lot of sense to us since we knew we wanted to adopt instead of be a foster parent. In those classes we learned about attachment and adopting children that come into your home not as a newborn. I couldn't get enough to read on these subjects. I thought I was crazy because I would check out books, buy books and read all that I could on attachment. Now all of this serves as such a blessing to me.
Once we hit a road block with Heaven Sent because placements are so few with what our plans were and the state did not want to work with the agency-Heaven sent directed us to American Adoptions were we needed to save money to become ready again. It was hard to understand but we were willing to do what we felt so lead to do. We will need the money for legal fees and many other adoption fees. If we had not become prepared we would not have been ready for these precious cuties without completely strapping our family.
Our birth mom found us through our agency-Heaven Sent. We couldn't have ask for a stronger more beautiful person inside and out to be our birth mom. We love her and respect her beyond anything I can express. She is a perfect fit for us. We were lead together. It makes so much sense now. Some call it coincidence. I call it destiny designed by God.
****What happens if they have to go back and something doesn't work out the way it is planned?*****
Proverbs 3:5
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."
If our call was to be parents to these little boys forever or for a month we have to do the best we can with what we've been given. We are so thankful for the lessons we are learning and the way this has brought us closer as a family.
Now on a not so serious note....it's been awhile since I've carried a two year old around. My arms, back and sides are so sore. I am so out of shape!
I can't tell you the last time all of us have been up before 7 on a Saturday morning. We were all up laughing and playing bright and early even the teenagers were up that didn't get home from going out to eat after the game till super late!
We drove to Krispy Kreme for donuts but we all don't fit in one vehicle! The big boys stayed home and waited!
Yesterday when we picked up Caroline from school we drove around to the football end of the building to tell the big brothers good luck. When Blake and Andrew were leaving the little brothers yelled out "BYE BUBBAS!!!" We got a good laugh out of that.
Thank you for your prayers. I feel them and know they are working. They are adjusting fast and we are too.
Keep praying!
It is crazy because it is like you know you have a child somewhere but you can't find them and you are willing to do just about anything to find them. This agency did our home study (Heaven Sent) and really got to know us and our desires in our adoption. They had us attend hours of training through the state and it didn't really make a lot of sense to us since we knew we wanted to adopt instead of be a foster parent. In those classes we learned about attachment and adopting children that come into your home not as a newborn. I couldn't get enough to read on these subjects. I thought I was crazy because I would check out books, buy books and read all that I could on attachment. Now all of this serves as such a blessing to me.
Once we hit a road block with Heaven Sent because placements are so few with what our plans were and the state did not want to work with the agency-Heaven sent directed us to American Adoptions were we needed to save money to become ready again. It was hard to understand but we were willing to do what we felt so lead to do. We will need the money for legal fees and many other adoption fees. If we had not become prepared we would not have been ready for these precious cuties without completely strapping our family.
Our birth mom found us through our agency-Heaven Sent. We couldn't have ask for a stronger more beautiful person inside and out to be our birth mom. We love her and respect her beyond anything I can express. She is a perfect fit for us. We were lead together. It makes so much sense now. Some call it coincidence. I call it destiny designed by God.
****What happens if they have to go back and something doesn't work out the way it is planned?*****
Proverbs 3:5
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."
If our call was to be parents to these little boys forever or for a month we have to do the best we can with what we've been given. We are so thankful for the lessons we are learning and the way this has brought us closer as a family.
Now on a not so serious note....it's been awhile since I've carried a two year old around. My arms, back and sides are so sore. I am so out of shape!
I can't tell you the last time all of us have been up before 7 on a Saturday morning. We were all up laughing and playing bright and early even the teenagers were up that didn't get home from going out to eat after the game till super late!
We drove to Krispy Kreme for donuts but we all don't fit in one vehicle! The big boys stayed home and waited!
Yesterday when we picked up Caroline from school we drove around to the football end of the building to tell the big brothers good luck. When Blake and Andrew were leaving the little brothers yelled out "BYE BUBBAS!!!" We got a good laugh out of that.
Thank you for your prayers. I feel them and know they are working. They are adjusting fast and we are too.
Keep praying!
Friday, October 14, 2011
I want to share everything but there is so much still unknown that I can't really open my book yet. You know I'm dying because I love to share my good news! I can't wait for you to all meet our sweet, sweet boys but for now this back picture will have to do.
Before I get started let me apologize for this crazy post. I am all over the place and this post will be all over the place!!!
We are working on attachment. We are cocooning right now so we can't have a lot of company or go many places. They have met grandma and nana and a few others. Steve and I are going to tag team work as we cocoon so they have one of us. So thankful to have such a great parenting partner.
They are so funny! We laugh at absolutely everything they do!
We put up all the newborn stuff and started working on 4T stuff. We have had a wonderful outpouring of love and help. We borrowed car seats for the weekend but plan to get some Monday. Nana bought us underwear, pull ups and socks. We bought a pair of PJ's with helicopters! Aunt Cynthia is waiting for the word to go shopping!! The agency got us started on about 4 outfits for each and Rhonda equipped us with two toddler beds and bedding. They were so excited tonight as they crawled in their own beds. They kept saying..."my bed...my bed!!!" It was so sweet. Our room is quite a site with our king bed and two toddler beds and the girls mattress! The girls don't want to leave their sides!!! Blake and Andrew want hourly text with pictures to them at school! We are all still in shock. It doesn't feel real but it is so much fun! It happened so fast. We got the call Wednesday to be there on Thursday and whew it's like a whirlwind!
We found out they love planes, helicopters, robots, gummies, and chicken nuggets from McDonald's! They love to ride in Steve's big truck and so today we went on 4 rides!
All I can say for sure is this has been the biggest roller coaster of my life.
All eight of us are emotional and happy and scared and hopeful! Our specific prayer request is for the birth mom to have peace and for the birth father to cooperate. We need this mountain to move!
Just like when I brought my babies home from the hospital I worried about them until I knew how they liked to be held, fed, changed and what their cries meant. It is so much the same even though they are older. I'm trying to enjoy these moments so I won't look back and wish I'd enjoyed them more! I love rubbing these little brown heads and kissing these little sweet brown cheeks! We are beyond blessed for this experience. I can't even begin to tell you the thankfulness I feel in my heart.
How did we get so lucky?
ON a non-adoption note!
Blake and Andrew are now 8-0 season. Andrew got to play tonight!!!! WOW! I missed it but I heard great things.
More to come soon!!!
Thanks for all your sweet emails, prayers, text and well wishes. They mean so much. Told you it was all over the place!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
"When I in awesome wonder"
Psalms 147:7 "Sing unto the Lord with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God."
I can't say much but wanted to post tonight. I couldn't let this night pass without expressing my complete happiness! Our lives have been changed and touched in a way that I can not even find the words to write.
1 Samuel 1: 27 "For this child I prayed..."
We are over joyed times 2!!! Yes! you read it right....times 2!
We met with a beautiful, brave, and strong birthmother today for a long time. We have two precious 2 year old twin boys!
How sweet it is!!
We still have a mountain to move-continue to keep our family in your prayers that it will all go smooth!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
dearest fall
While the boys went camping the girls went to play!
We got some Nana spoiling and went couponing! We went to all our favorite goodwill's and thrift stores!
The freaks come out at night!
It's always more fun to make halloween treats while wearing costumes!
If you are cracking up you should have seen Steve and the boys when they got home earlier than we expected and found us baking in these!
All I'm saying is don't knock it till you've tried it.
pumpkin bread recipe here!
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