Hitting the snooze button this morning a flood of emotions attacked me. It's already time to go back to school. I am down to the nitty gritty. This is it! My last semester of classes. Could it be that I am already finishing my practicums? This is it before I student teach. The summer of 2008 seems like yesterday when I decided to go back to school. Packing in as many semester hours as they would let me;it didn't seem possible to be where I am now. Then- I never thought I would be taking all my practicums or the Praxis II test. 5 semesters then seemed like a lifetime. It's almost like when you have a new baby and the La Leche league lady says if you can just nurse 3 weeks you can nurse this baby a whole year. Those 3 weeks feel like a decade but then at the year mark you pick up your precious little stinker and you think where did my year go! We made it!
So today I am a basket case.
I am happy that I am finally where I am.
I am sad to loose the month I just had with my kids just being a SAHM and part time photographer.
I am stressed to begin this semester with all the work that is going to be due.
I am overwhelmed with a messy house that I meant to get all organized before I returned to school.
I am amazed that I am in the program and finally finishing up.
I am scared..What happens if I mess up when I'm in the first grade classroom-what if I teach for fun instead of by the state standards! Ha
I am worried about my kids when I am trying to juggle them around.(they are the most important thing in my life-I don't want them to feel like they are on the back burner)
I am grateful for this opportunity to spread my wings and for steve for supporting me in this journey.
So today, I am going to be hitting my knees, praying for strength in all these things because for sure one thing I have learned is I can not do this without a higher strength of help.
My schedule is:
Mon-math lab(teaching math to students-HA! I know me teaching math)
Tuesday morning-practicum lab
Tuesday night -Literacy practicum lecture
Wednesday morning-Practicum lab (1st grade)
Wednesday night -Math lecture
Thursday morning-Practicum lab
Thursday night-Literacy lecture
Friday half day...8-2 practicum set up and lecture!
I can smell graduation just not taste it yet! This is a journey that I wouldn't trade. The lessons I've learned have made me a better wife and mother. So on with this roller coaster i'll go. I guess I'll just keep being an emotional basket case. When I sit in class tonight I'll be missing blake's wrestling match, and wishing I was picking up andrew from practice and going over Leah's spelling words and watching zack and cody with caroline but when I do get the night to be with them again (Mond. martin Luther king day -no school) I'll be far more grateful for the time. It's kind of like sweets...when you take them out of your diet you'll start wanting them more!
So here's to the curvy, bumpy, upside down ride-I think I'll keep my eyes opened!
3 comments:
Wow- the last semester for student teaching! You have made it. You will do it, just like you have done all these other semesters. You are a hero to be able to juggle all that you have. Good luck!
You are in my prayers, my friend. You are setting a great example to your children. I know what you are feeling in other aspects of my life. The climb to the top of the roller coaster knowing what the next part will bring... Hang on to the wild ride!
It's been a blur but you can do it! So exciting! WE're in your corner cheering for you. And when you see the men in white coats coming for you don't worry, I'll be there to wipe the drool from your mouth in the looney bin! You are almost there! the finish line is just ahead!
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