Last day on campus!

Although these last few days have been survival mode  well last few weeks-I desperately wanted to take a moment and record some feeling from today.   Today was our last student teaching seminar. As I drove back up to campus a flood of emotions ran through my mind as I thought back to my first day back on campus in 2008. I was so scared and out of my comfort zone. I couldn't remember where any building was and everything had changed and had to been done online. I was overwhelmed, scared, and very unsure. I was sure I was going to get attacked!!!  Although I had worked in my home with photography and with people I felt like I had not studied...really studied to retain information in a long time. I studied like crazy to try to regain old study habits. It was weird it was like a part of my brain had gone to sleep. I vividly remember calling my Dad that first day of school and telling him how much work this was going to be and what a sacrifice for my family this was and how scared I was. He said to come visit him that weekend and my mom would help me with my homework!!! Ha and she did!  Last semester was by far the hardest of all taking all those practicums and losing him at the same time. I miss him this week. And although I know he's with me I wish he was physically. He pushed me so much to go back to school and knew it was something I wanted to do.  I look back at all the blessing I received during all of this time and how the Lord placed people in my life just at the right time from old friends to new college friends and certain teachers. My supervisor while I was student teaching was such a gift and helped me so much.  I couldn't have made it through any of this without them or without HIM.
So today after the crazy amount of emotions a few of my little college peeps came over to decorate our caps. It was so nice to take an hour and celebrate teaching!!!! YEAH!!!

Happy days

Lots of updates again. I can't keep up with it!

Andrew broke his arm during a wrestling match! Ouch-there seems to be a little problem we find out Fri. if he needs surgery-hopefully not. Looks like wrestling is over for him. He is so loyal though supporting the team at every single match!

Blake blessed the sacrament for the first time today. He was ordained a priest last Sunday. It was a precious moment for me!

I graduate in 6 days! YEP 6 days. Never actually thought this day would ever come!

I got a job! I survived interviews. I thought I would have a nervous breakdown...literally. I will be teaching 2nd grade!  The current teacher is moving to get married. It just happened to be in the school I was student teaching in so I feel ever so blessed! I am busy getting ready and finishing up my last week of student teaching. It feels so weird to me that all of this fell into place while we are pursuing adoption but all I can say is I have prayed and prayed and somehow it must go together or it's the right thing to do. So with that said, I look forward to the new door that is opening in front of me and the sweet little 2nd graders!

Our homestudy has been written but  we are having trouble getting back information from Idaho when we lived there YEARS ago.  We were not registered with the state because we were college students but somehow something still has to come back and prove that we didn't commit crime there. That is holding us up a little but hopefully by the end of the week. If all goes as planned it should be ready by Friday/Saturday or next week!

I got a new calling at church so that means I got released from my stake calling. Before I served in stake primary I served in ward  primary for years so to now be put in YW seems really different. I will be praying a lot for inspiration.   I am happy to be with Leah Beth and excited to be with the girls and have some really neat people serving with me.

Having an extra driver in the house has really taken a load off of me and I guess the Lord doesn't believe in any down time except tomorrow he has given us a SNOW day!  YIPEE....my first time ever that we all get off the same time-no classes tomorrow, no photo appointments just me and them sleeping late and hanging out!!!!!

Happy 16th Birthday Blake!!!

Today was a big day for the Solomon family. Steve and I have officially been parents for 16 wonderful years!  Blake is celebrating the big 16 today! The most exciting part for him is the passing of  his driver's test and driving himself to school alone for the first time.   He had an inschool wrestling match which was another fun and exciting part. It was fun for him to pin his guy in front of the entire school! Blake is an amazing person. Each day I am in awe at his choices and the way he lives his life. He pushes himself above and beyond. I love the example he is to our other children and to me.  I wish I could make the grades he makes and work out half as much as he does!!!  He shines with goodness. I am honored to be his mother and blessed to be trusted with one of Heavenly Father's valiant sons to raise.

Thanksgiving Poem by Andrew Solomon

Andrew had to write a Thanksgiving poem...I saw it laying on the couch and loved it so much I thought I better add it to my blog so it will print in my book at the end of the year!

Thanksgiving Poem

For my family

Caring, patient, kind

forever, abundantly, since the beginning

For this I am thankful

For my country

United, strong, helping

Everyday, constantly, changing

For all this, I am thankful

For my friends

Awesome, there for me, helpful

Past, present, future

For this I am thankful

For my church

Advising, amazing, Godly

Sundays, Wednesdays, every day

For this I am thankful

Last homestudy visit

I have hundreds of pictures that I am behind on loading but the real question I am getting often is how is the adoption process going.
We had our last home study visit from our social worker tonight. Now we wait for a placement. We have been telling people for sometime that we are planning to adopt but now we want to shout it from the mountains. We are searching for the child that is meant to be in our family either a newborn or a child that is already on the earth we are in search!

Football is over. Basketball, dance, and wrestling are in full force.

Graduation is in less than a month. At times I can not believe I am actually going to graduate. I am so excited. I am applying for jobs and hoping to be going in for interviews. Since I owned my own business I don't think I've had a job interview in 18 years or so. NERVOUS! There are 2 jobs available in my degree  and about 500 people trying to get them. Need I say needle in a haystack! I may have to sub.

I got released from my stake calling after a VERY long time on Sunday.  I am excited to become part of our ward again. I look forward to serving in a new area but I will miss the primary leaders I have worked with for years.

My son is about to be 16....whoa I know....watch out world. I don't know if he's more excited or me!  The idea of my life having 2 more free hours a day that I spend in the car daily makes me so excited.

Many changes...little time to write it all....but I am so grateful for this place we are in right now and although we are so excited about all the things that are happening or about to take place our adoption fills our hearts and prayers the most. (unless wrestle offs are coming up then according to Andrew those take over!!!) I am so excited and can't wait to see what the Lord unfolds for our family. Sometimes I just day dream and wonder how we really got to this point but I am so very thankful we are here!!!

fallish time!

My girl is 12!!!

Yep! She's 12! I'm behind on my post but on Sept. 17 this beautiful girl turned the big 12!

Her favorite things:

Food: Mac. and cheese

Subject: Social Studies

Activity: Hanging out with friends and doing fingernails

Things to wear: Basketball shorts and  t-shirts

Things she doesn't like to do: Go to the doctor

Singer: Carrie Underwood

Show: Cake Boss

Family favorite thing: watching movies

She's in 6th grade! She takes ballet, tap and jazz. She got a green phone for the big 12! She is crafty-with a wild imagination. She is about to hit her second year in braces so one more year to go. She is a great big sister to Caroline and looks forward to adding someone else to our family.

Only 6 full days left

6 days...6 days...only 6 days left in my first student teaching placement with my first graders. I am so attached to these little people. They have become such a part of my world. Even though I thought I knew I  really had no idea. Really I don't think you could know unless you experience how much being in their lives every single day really has a huge effect on my own life as well. I knew teachers were invested and def. did more than teach but I had no idea I'd go to sleep thinking about them, wake up thinking about them, and think about them all times in between. I will miss them so much when I take on the next placement of 3rd grade but I look forward to learning all about some new little people!   My life has been so blessed already and I'm not even getting paid yet for this job. Can't wait till I get blessed with a little money while I am doing what I love! 

caroline

Sweet Caroline got to go on a trip to visit the grounds of the temple. She and her Daddy had a beautiful day as she learned about the sweetness and special spirit that surrounds the temple.

updates-cousin-life

Adoption updates:
We have two more weeks of PATH classes.  My heart truly breaks for these children in the situations they are in. I think about it all the time. The classes have made me a better mom. Even though they are long and I've had to depend on the whole country to help with our four kids-getting them home from practice, home from work, to dance, home from dance-I've still learned so much through these couple of months.
We had to postpone our next homestudy visit  with our social worker due to me not getting all the paper work done and Steve's work schedule. It has been a lot trying to do homestudy paperwork  along with student teaching homework.  Last night at PATH they had a panel of people that have been through our journey or workers that can answer questions and give information. I left a little more frustrated  than when I came. No one seems to be an advocate for just people who want to adopt.  Everyone acts like it is so impossible. It's frustrating because we feel so lead in this direction. This has been such a trial of faith for me-just going on faith alone when everyone says it's not a good idea to go through the foster system to adopt.  I have had so many people ask me...why are we doing this?  I have gotten so many looks when the topic of adoption comes up...statements of don't you have four children already or why in the world would you put yourself through all this!   I guess it does sound kind of crazy and  it sounds even crazier that I am trying to finish my degree-student teach and complete all this but then  I am reminded so many times over and over that this it's not our timing it's the Lord. We are driven with a force that is stronger than any that I have ever experienced.  And although we don't have a face that we are praying for it is so humbling to hear my children pray for a child that is being prepared for our family and us for that child.

Family updates: cousin Rachel

We are in a new season of our life...(wouldn't it be funny if we ended up adopting a baby while we are full force into this new season of teenagers! )  My SIL and I use to sit around and talk about when we have teenagers. It is so much fun having teenagers raising them with family close. My brother has 3 children that are very very close in age to my boys. Well actually his daughter that is 12 is the same age of Leah Beth as well!  This past weekend they hung out together-one of them drove them around-two of them slept over at Nana's and two of them (rachel and andrew) came to our house. They are all good buds and I love how they are such good friends and help each other out. I love even more that they are good teenagers!

New family room

We recently changed my photography studio into our family room. Since I am student teaching and not using an indoor studio at all we decided we could really use this space for some family space!  We are loving it so much. A little extra room to dance, wrestle, watch TV, play computer and just hang out together.  I wasn't even sad at all to take down the backdrops. There really is a time and a season for all things!!!

Birthdays-football-new tombstone and such

Yep...steve finally hit it the big 4-0!  We celebrated with a few pranks and a tailgate party right before Blake's football game.

Our Caroline with her ice cream b-day cake Wednesday night the big 9

Finally my Dad's tombstone came in and just in time for decoration day. We got to go up the next day and get a good look. I love it.  Perfect for him. Unique and simple. And it came in just in time for his birthday!

My sweet Leah Beth just because!

Some much needed family time and a little celebration for the girls for their birthdays since we aren't having parties this year just the six of us celebrated together. It was so fun! Mini golf, ch. cheese and waffle house all in one day!

Blake is playing his first year of high school football as a sophomore. He has always liked to try lots of things but his love of love has always been wrestling. As his mom I've come to love wrestling (with a few exceptions) just as much because I have noticed all the benefits that come with the hard work and endurance that is being learned as he is learning to become a great wrestler so when he decided to add football to one of his in between sports I was a little well...not excited. I love football and the fun that it is on Friday night. The smell, the jeans and the feeling but I am so used to wrestling I didn't know how I would feel about another contact sport. His  in between sports have been cross country, track and soccer and I've not had to worry about the things I've worried about in wrestling and football.

Well let me tell you...I was one of those...(along with my husband) acting like a insane person as my sophomore was put into the game. First he turned around and gave his Dad a suspicious look (like Dad get ready I'm going in) that I can't tell you what it did to my heart. It kinda leap to know he was getting to go in the game.  Although no words were exchanged between the two of them it was the look. Steve told me to get ready. I grabbed my camera and darted over as fast as I could (yes running in front of all the bleachers carrying my camera) Only to get to a great spot and forgot my battery. So I had to run back!  I was screaming Go Blake Go Blake Go....in my biggest Van Buren Co. High cheerleading voice. All my past cheering came back to me real fast!  Good thing I didn't try turning a cartwheel!  Steve and I acted like idiots along with Andrew and his friends as we watched Blake play and play. It was so fun. So yes I am adding football to my love with wrestling. It was worth all the driving to practice just to see my boy do his thing!  My heart was racing every time the whistle would blow. Crazy yes...exciting yes...fun oh yes!

One of our steps for our home study is locking up all our meds. I didn't know how I was going to do this without buying a cabinet or something till someone suggested a toolbox with a lock. So $15 bucks later we are done!

Nana got Caroline this great book for her birthday but the more I read it I realize it is for me too! The name of it is "Forever and Always"

It's about death. It is precious.  Get your tissues out when you read it.  

I couldn't sleep last night! I can always sleep! Pretty much any time any where! Student teaching thoughts/adoption thoughts/ mothering thoughts/ wife thoughts/ and then Dad. I've missed him so much this week. Not just a little  I really missed him. I found myself wishing I could just talk to him a little bit and he would answer back. I am sure it was because it was his birthday.  It was this picture again that kept me awake! I know it's just a picture but for me it is the reason I love pictures so much. Because now pictures are what we have to remember. I understand fully that I can't take pictures with me when I die but for now until we are all together again it reminds me of how much I have and how blessed I am.  We took this picture a couple of weeks after Dad made it to the heart transplant list. I suggested that we do a dressy picture since all of our pictures are casual and it had been so long since all of us including adults had been in a picture with the kids and Nana and Papa.  I am so glad that we took a few minutes set up the tripod and enjoyed the beautiful weather and Adrian's land. It is a good memory of laughter and fun even though he was already really sick.

In so many ways I am reminded I am blessed. So in my weakest moments when I feel so inadequate I am reminded of eternity as I look at all these faces that I love so dearly. 

First Home study visit

Tonight was our first home study visit. I thought she would be here about an hour for the first visit but three hours later I was wondering how long these visits take! We talked a lot, filled out lots of paperwork and wrote her a big check-and well......here we go.  I thought she would check the house more. She said she would again next visit. I guess she was checking but not checking like I thought she would.

She was very honest and told us it is really really hard to adopt from foster care. She has told us that before but she wanted to go in detail with us. She said when you adopt foreign you have a bit of a time line but the route we are going there is no timeline whatsoever. She said it could get very frustrating and she wanted to warn us of this. It could be immediately or a year. So I did feel a little scared of the unknown. I pray that following our hearts is the right thing as we pursue this type of adoption instead of foreign adoption. I've gone through at least 100 thoughts in my mind all jumbled up-like:should we foster first the odds of an adoption  placement are way higher if you foster first, or maybe we should go foreign, or what in the world are we doing!  And then I feel that wonderful peace that I felt so many times as I have prayed my whole soul out about this decision and the feeling of we are in the right place doing just what we are suppose to do at this time. It's easy to say to turn it over to the Lord but it's so hard to do!

Birthday Girl!

Happy Birthday to our sweet Caroline!  Today is her big day-number 9! 

What's up in Caroline's life!

3rd Grader at a new school-Her teacher is Ms. Cooper

just started dance again after a year off at a new studio. She is doing tap/ballet/and jazz.

She is getting ready to play basketball this winter and gearing up!

She has  learned most of her multiplications still needs to learn the 9's.

She is learning to write in cursive.

She is in the 90th percentile of her age in height and 20th in weight.

Her favorite toys is  her American Girl  doll.

Her favorite food is ramen noodles.

Her favorite place to eat out is Fazoli's.

Her favorite things to do is play with her toys-and loves to be outside.

She loves dogs and cats.

Instead of a lunch box to school she takes a brown paper sack like our high schoolers!  She knows just about every rock song on the radio thanks to our high schoolers too! 

She likes to watch Hannah Montana on TV.

Her household chores other than her room are fold and put away laundry Mon. Wed. and Friday, wash windows and mirrors and help weed the landscaping and dishes one night a week.

She is such a sunshine to our family. She blesses my life every single day. Happy Birthday sweetest girl!

hump day

Hump day has a whole new meaning for me these days and Friday an even more new meaning because in first grade we have FUN FRIDAY and I can't wait for fun Friday.  I love this class. I feel so attached already it's crazy.  How can it happen so fast. I go to sleep thinking about them and wake up thinking about them. They are the most street smart kids I have ever met!   I love my cooperating teacher and the school is great but I can't help but feel the anticipation of 61/2 weeks to go in this placement  of first grade and 8 in the next  3rd grade and then graduation day!!!  But until now celebrating hump day can help get me through.
I wish I could just go to school and teach them but I'm loaded down with mounds of homework from the university. It's overload  every night I am playing catch up to all this crazy stuff due so I've pretty much had to take everything out of my life that I don't have to have except blake's football games and adoption classes.

On a different note adoption classes are going pretty smooth. I am anxious to move on to the next level but I also know until the homestudy is complete we can't really do anything. We have our first home visit next week. I feel a little anxious like I need to clean everything!  I can't help but wonder who will be joining our family. Is it a baby, toddler, child, first grader... it's so hard for me to be patient. But I realize as we prepare and pray for the heart of the child we will be bringing into our home to be ready for our family that all things will happen in the Lord's timing and I just have to be patient. It's so weird to me that I can feel so much love for someone I don't have or don't even know anything about really.  When I was carrying our babies I grew such  a love because it was a sacrifice throwing up everyday and hurting and getting as big as an elephant but this is a different sacrifice and the love feels so much the same the only thing is not knowing if it's going to be 1 year-2 years-9 months-3 month.

Updates for family-Caroline loving 3rd grade and her new school starting up dance again next week at a new studio.
Leah-she has made a great connection with middle school-I'm so grateful for good teachers. She starts young women in 17 days but has began to be invited to Wed. night activities she is lovin it.
Andrew-back to work at the ballpark. Exhausted from late nights and early morning seminary and tons of honors class homework.
Blake-got his first real girl friend!(uh oh) Almost 16-practicing driving but not enough because he's never home. Between football, scouts, guitar lessons, homework, church  and a social life we never see this boy.

First Real Day of student TeAcHiNg!

Well I made it and didn't get eaten alive by 20 first graders!

8 weeks with these little stinkers angels and then off to third grade I go.
I wonder if they could tell I was scared to death but all their sweet little hugs made all the butterflies go away! That's why I love kids so much they just simply love you!

It takes me an hour to get to the school I am in this first placement so that's a little bit of a challenge!  My first observation is next week teaching math! (My strongest point-HA!)

my favorite comment today...Ms. Gretchen are you in college?
me-yes
student-are you trying to learn to drive?
me-well  no i already know how to drive but I'm trying to learn to be a good teacher like your teacher.
student-oh well i thought when you were in college you were really young and you look as old as my teacher!
me-how old do you think she is
student-at least 65 or 70! (NICE-she looks like she's in her 30's too!)

Where I am from!

My friend Jen. had this posted on her blog here. I loved it so I thought I'd try it. It was harder than I thought but I had so much fun thinking back to growing up especially thinking of Dad. It was hard for me to stay exactly on task-with the correct adjectives but oh well...here goes!




I am from the Smurfs, from Holly Hobby and Atari.

I am from 7 different simple homes all in middle Tennessee, gathering chicken eggs every day but Sunday and smelling cooking wheat bread.

I am from grapevines growing, tomato plants, and the Cascade Falls. I am from hosta plants, the purple Iris and fishing ponds.

I am from chocolate gravy breakfast on the first snow day, from blue eyes, from the Shockley family, the Hale family and the Clendenons.

I am from Friday nights singing "Rockin Robin" around the guitar, Kilivempion bedtime stories, pop-up campers, and aerobics on Saturday mornings.

From "my blue eyed daddy's girl", and "Good morning sunshine."

I am from "Sure do love you" shouting out after family prayer and driving to church for meetings at least three times a week.

I'm from McMinnville but my people are in Piney, pinto beans and mashed potatoes.

From the singer in the Army and love at first sight on the school bus, the rainbow motel and the health nut mom.

I am from 16X20 cheerleading pictures hanging on the walls, the Southern Standard paper clippings, and boxes of pictures in the closets.

A new journey

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine  own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.  Proverbs 3:5-6

Almost two years ago our family knelt in family prayer. One of our children said the prayer. The words were said, "Please bless our family to know if we should adopt a brother or sister". Steve and I both opened our eyes during the prayer and looked at each other. This is the day our whole life changed.  As I listened to the prayer...I refused to feel what was burning deep inside my heart.  But I didn't do what Proverbs 3: 5 said I trusted in my own understanding and that was the way I was going to be. I had a heavy load, I was trying to finish my college degree, I served in church as the stake primary president, I had a very sick daddy and a very tight schedule. I didn't really look at the hearts of my children or husband or I wasn't at all focused on eternity.  I closed my eyes to what our family was being led to embrace. Maybe I was scared. 

Soon after that day, Steve and I went to eat with some friends and I heard the words come out of his mouth that Gretchen and I would someday adopt a child. I think he even said he would love to have two more! Ha-I smiled and laughed.  It was in that moment that I realized his arms was bigger than mine! I love children, but to take on the task of another one to raise seemed more than I wanted to handle.

All around me friends of mine were adopting, had recently adopted or thinking about adoption. I didn't even think of this as a sign. I felt so touched as each one of them shared their experiences with us and I truly thought it was precious for them. I would do anything in my power to help them with "their" journey.  In fact this very summer I told one of my friends I would have a picture fundraiser for them to help bring their child home. As I said those words, chills ran up my spine, because I knew I was talking to myself.

"Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God" Matthew 5: 8

Just about every day I learn something from my children. They teach me far more than I could ever teach them. I have learned about faith, service, forgiveness, peacemaking skills, and recently I learned how pure in heart they truly are and how I need to be more like them. They truly look upon the hearts of people.

In the scriptures I love the story where Jesus visited Mary and Martha. The scripture says: she received him into her house. "And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus feet, and heard his word.  But Martha was cumbered about much serving and came to him and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? Bid her therefore that she helps me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful; and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10: 38-42.

This summer I finally realized how important in my life the one needful thing. Maybe I really learned it for the first time. Our time on earth is truly short.

2 Chr. 29-"My sons, be not now negligent: for the Lord hath chosen you to stand before him, to serve him, and that ye should minister unto him..."

This is what I mean:  I was so consumed with wanting to sell our home to build a bigger house on the land so our children could be more comfortable and closer to their school. I was so concerned about preparing the house to sale-painting, fixing-up, summer projects, saving money or paying off bills, I could list more and more stuff. I was for sure not focused on "the needful thing". 

Here's where the plot thickens!

I really was moving like a whirlwind through the summer. I was studying for the praxis 2 and had a wedding to shoot; the boys had a Boy Scout fundraiser I was helping to plan all in one weekend.  Serious craziness on my part!  My mind was never still; it was racing 90 to nothing. So this weekend in June was by far the busiest weekend of my entire summer and I had the most moving dream of my life. It is far to personal to share on a blog but if you feel inspired and need to hear it email me. As I woke from that dream-I knew without a doubt that I had been focused on the wrong things and that I needed to change.  I knew I needed to start praying about what my children were asking the Lord in their prayers: "That if we should adopt then mom and dad would know". I knew our family was about to be lead on an amazing journey.  I shared my experience with Steve and my mom and a few close friends. They joined me in prayer, as did each of our children. In fact many of you may have been praying for us and didn't even know it because my sweet friend posted this on her blog.

I was no longer scared-another friend reminded me of this scripture in 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

As we began discussing the prospects of adoption Steve kind of backed off a bit. He got what I have heard in adoption language as RHS (reluctant husband syndrome) although he felt it in his heart, actually making it happen was a different story. Going to classes, doing homework, writing autobiographies, home studies visits seemed like a lot.  He was worried about the money part of adoption.  He worried how it would affect our children.  Were we good enough parents...I have my doubts too but I was quickly reminded that who the Lord calls he qualifies. 


Like I said before Steve's arms are big and his heart is bigger. I began fasting and praying that he would feel as I felt.  But,  I still had not given up on selling the house and building on the land and couldn't feel peace with all these things.  It didn't go together...adoption plans, student teaching, moving! Moving during a homestudy would complicate things. Plus we'd have to move into a rental while we built then move again....really complicated.  I was trying to make it work in my mind. I never thought about not moving!  Steve came home from work and we had a good heart to heart! He felt strong that we should not sell the house right now.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Good idea! I knew what this meant-we'd be starting our home study. At first I thought where in the world would we put another child. Then I quickly remembered how selfish I was being when indeed we have been blessed with so much more than we need. We can bunk up!    

I began doing research on agencies and how it worked-I prayed and prayed what direction we should take.  I spent hours researching and praying and wanting to talk about it all the time. I was really thinking to myself...why all the sudden am I so driven to this-when just a few months before I was so sure this wasn't for us! I know I was driving the people around me (a.k.a Steve)bonkers because I was driving myself bonkers!  I felt so drawn to Ethiopia.  All of a sudden every single place I went people were coming into my life who were adopting-I was just about to the point when I met someone new or even caught up with someone I hadn't seen in awhile I would want to say and are you about to adopt a child! 
There was one child in particular that caught my eye. Her name is Jemila.  She had been malnourished and I felt particularly drawn to her. I just assumed that I would see the face of a child and know if she/he was to be ours. So because I was so touched by her story and her face I thought she was mine. I learned an amazing thing about myself from her that I could accept many things. She was in Ethiopia. It would literally cost us 30 grand.  She had the most beautiful brown skin and curly brown hair!  We would travel twice and she had some special needs...what I learned is that if she was my child I would swallow any amount of pride to earn money-fundraisers etc, I would accept her special needs and I could love her.  I didn't realize it at the time but she was an answer to my prayer that I could truly adopt a child and love him/her as my own. I was completely touched by an angel. Her file was taken by another family soon after we started praying about her so I knew her place was for me to learn all that I did. I still have her picture posted on my fridge. I have such a love for her even though I may never meet her. She opened my eyes and let me know that no matter what race, or cost I would be willing to go the journey even with her special circumstances.

We truly went full circle while we were trying to decide what to do.  We learned quickly that we didn't have to go to Ethiopia to follow God's will for our family. Although it seemed like a precious journey God's will is for us to remain right here.  We were led to an agency that was right here in our town. Heaven sent children (go figure- since I had interviewed agencies all over the US!) We will be adopting intrastate, which means domestic children that are in our US foster care system.   I was ready to beg for money to go to Ethiopia  but what a blessing that this adoption plan will only cost a couple of thousand dollars.  I had to literally climb a mountain to find out information about it because in TN they want you to foster first. We felt certain that foster care wasn't something we were prepared to do. Through our agency we will not have to foster first.

We began our 11-week adoption courses 3 weeks ago and the process began.  This might be a long process there are a lot of strings involved because we have to wait until a child's parental rights removed (sad) to be able to even look at their files etc but we can be patient. (I think)  So we don't have a special face that we are working toward right at this moment. We didn't see a picture that we knew was supposed to be our child, but God literally spoke to our hearts and is guiding this journey.  And when I truly let go and turned it over to him I have been amazed already.

A child enters your life and fills a special place in your heart. A place you never even knew was empty!

Mark 10: 16

And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.

I'm a big ole mess!

School started Monday...I always have these crazy insane emotions when school starts!  Caroline and Andrew started a new school this year so the anxiety of meeting new friends and teachers and hallways had me in such an uproar!  I was beginning to think I needed medication! 
Blake is playing football he started in June and keeps coming home with the biggest knots and cuts. I finally got used to wrestling and ringworm and all that goes with that crazy sport now I'm having to get used to a new kind of sport that beats up my child every day!  He's practices have been long-we are used to long time consuming sporting events. For anyone that wrestles they know just what I mean but football has opened a new door because it's also very long enduring hours are in the heat. Just perfect for a mother's heart!

Andrew is going to a big scout camping ordeal this weekend. They don't eat or talk and do heavy labor! It's only 100 outside!   NICE-another prick at my heart. I don't understand boys!


On top of I would really like to know where I am going to be student teaching. It is driving me bonkers. It's so hard to plan and be patient.  I would like to drive to the school (where ever it is) and see how long it takes me-I'd like to get prepared and know what grade!  I'm not exactly a typical student I need extra planning time so I can juggle more!  I think being a mom of teenagers while attending college should put me in the special needs student category and I should get special exceptions! Ha
OH well while I'm ringing my hands off over here I'm trying to finish up loads of portraits for last minute customers, get all my checkups up to date, take Bella to the vet, eat lunch with friends, Caroline, and Steve and clean house!  Even though I'm anxious I feel an overwhelming thankfulness to be where I am. Two years ago this semester seemed so far away. So I guess I can wait a couple more days!

Happy Weekend!

Courage to Stand Strong

"It takes courage to speak

It takes courage to know

It takes courage to lead

and sometimes it Faith to follow

It takes courage to wait when the battle is long

We'll fight the fight and just keep holding on...it will takes courage to stand strong."

Ryan Innes...Courage to Stand Strong...EFY theme song 2010