It seems over the last four weeks that I have started school I have been running a different speed. Even though working and juggling my family was hard throwing school in the midst of it has left me in a whirl wind of emotions. I am posting this because I want to remember these feelings and I am trying to take the advice of my SIL to remember through the busy times to journal how I am feeling...I thought I would take a minute to add some of my thoughts.
I have heard from some reading that my mom told me that basically (without the technical terms) if your brain opens to many files at once and doesn't close some you will start forgetting things. So I guess with me opening new files in my brain trying to retrieve information that has long been forgotten...has left some important open files WIDE open. I am kinda forgetting important things....like my son at practice, hmmmm, picture appts, people have called waiting in my driveway and I forgot they were even coming, fixing my family dinner. (I thought they ate) While the file was open in my brain about brefunnbeurners contextual model...I am forgetting the things that I find are really important.
I started getting so upset. Feeling so overwhelmed with doubt...what have I done...loosing my mind...hormonal (maybe) satan trying to give me doubt for something I really prayed about and knew it was right to do....(definitely)
I finally realized this morning that I have been forgetting to read my scriptures. I always pray but scripture reading has gone by the wayside. I just reached for a set of scriptures and opened them...turning to Mosiah 4:27...It says "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order." I know the Lord needed me to read that today. I am so grateful to know that He is looking out for my best interest and reminding me the most important things...to do in order the rest will fall into place. I am no spiritual giant on most days, but it seems lately I have had to rely on the Lord's strength to just simply know how to handle any situation. I am feeling so blessed to know that I can do this when I can't carry myself and my family!
So I guess it doesn't matter so much that I feel my house is not clean enough or I haven't studied quite enough for an exam...but it is important that I go have lunch with my LB today because she was feeling down this morning when she left for school. I am so blessed to have the Jesus Christ in my life-I know he loves us and wants us to be happy. I found this quote this week on hope.....It made me feel better that I forgot to pick up Blake from practice! Blake forgave me instantly just forgiving myself wasn't so easy...
Learn from yesterday
Live for today
HOPE for tomorrow
6 comments:
Hey Gretchen! I always love it when I open the scriptures and read something that I really need at that moment. I forgot to pick my Blake up on a minimum day last year...and I don't have nearly the amount of things going on that you do! It happens to everyone! Take care and hopefully find a chance to put your feet up this week!
Hey Gretch :) this is Meredith by the way- I just wanted to tell you that I am so glad that you wrote about this because I always feel like everything is a little off-balanced when I dont read my scriptures or say my prayers. So I totally know the feeling, even though I dont know how it feels being a momma and a wife on top of that, but I can relate! Im sure you must feel overwhelemed right now because of your crazy schedule and I know this might be a little wierd taking advise from a 14 yr. old, but hang there! Im so glad we have amazing friends like you guys :)
I Love you Guys!!!
~Mer Mer :)
Mer, you are such a good girl! Wise beyond your years. Love you!
Gretch, I loved this post! That is one of my most favorite scriptures. I just gave a lesson today on how when I am overwhelmed and think I will have a nervous break down that I reach for the scriptures. In my prayers I always just ask HF to please bless me that I can accomplish the things that need to be accomplished and to please let everything that is not important to fall by the way side and let me feel peace when they do fall. (because I tend to have a God complex, that I can accomplish everything and feel tremendous guilt when I don't) It works! I'm so thankful for that! It was very similar to a post that I had written when I took on extra hours to obtain a personal goal. However, that personal goal was not what was in my season.
I believe too, that if you recieved the answer to go back to school that you need to, but perhaps you can cut down on the hours you are working with the photog business.
I started to well up with tears when I read that you chose to have lunch with your baby! Sometimes, those lunches mean so much to them yet to us they can be such inconveniences or things that don't really matter. I found that a lunch date can actually calm sneaky bullies who may be lurking and can really help connect with their school friends better.
ps, i wanted to talk with you about mil coming to visit with a friend. Mr. Incredible isn't being very upfront. I think things have a potential of a balloon and a cactus! LOL
Thanks for the reminder, Gretch! I needed this! I'm in one of those transitional periods trying to figure out how to juggle too many balls and trying to prudently decide which balls to let go off and possibly pick up later on down the road. Scripture reading is definitely one of those "balls" that needs to always stay in the mix.
Hang in there! Love ya!
I love this Gretchen! I love when this happens, when we can pray and just open the scriptures to what we need to hear.
Love ya-
Heather
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