Can't find the words!

Seems like I can't seem to find the words I am looking for to blog.  Sometimes I think it's easier just not to post but I want to remember these moments in the future so I'm making myself!  How can I be so completely blessed in 10 thousand ways and yet still be so needy for more! 

We have had a wonderful, busy summer. There were so many happenings I couldn't keep up.

School has began with a bang. I can't even put into words how blessed I feel to be at the school with all four of my children. I am among friends-big and little!  Kindergarten is where my heart has always been and I am loving every second of it.  The students already have my heart in a very short time. I am loving seeing them progress so quickly.  It really doesn't feel like a job. 

Football season is in and full swing. Blake is starting this year and Andrew is doing great too. His playing time is less but he is working his way up.

I am finally adjusted to my YW president calling and feel like we are getting it under control. I feel like our presidency is now moving forward like a team and really pulling together.

My mom just moved two miles from me. I have always wanted to live this close to her and can't believe how much my load has been lifted just to have her close. She has picked up girls helped with doctor check-ups and cooked dinner.   I LOVE IT and feel so lucky!

I can see the Lord's hand in my life. I can see how we are being prepared for something. We are so blessed.

So what is my problem.....what is wrong with me!  Something big is missing and we all know it!  We have been on this adoption journey for 14 months.   We have only been a "waiting" family with our current agency for 14 weeks but we have known for a long time that someone was missing from our family. Even though a placement in August or Sept. would completely throw me over the edge while I am adjusting again to new job and school - I am getting so impatient! I understand the Lord's timing is in place but I wish I had a time line. We never expecting to be waiting because they had such a shortage when we began. In fact they were placing babies in 3 weeks of becoming active. I am so thankful babies aren't waiting but I hate waiting too!
Five babies were placed last week and I keep wondering what is it that we are missing from our profile. Did I really explain our desire to do the Lord's will and the strong desire to have another child? I have thought so many times that if we had gone to Africa we would be coming home now. But our answers to our prayers were so clear to go this  route. 

When we thought Caroline was the last child I remember being so anxious to get her here and take family pictures and silly little things because I thought my family was complete! Well here I am again being so anxious. My heart although so full is so heavy. It doesn't make sense but it is what it is!

Hopefully now that I have that in the open I can blog again soon with life and normal routines!