Passing Passing Passing!!!

Over the next couple of weeks it is vital that I pass an important test so that I can continue my early childhood education. I hadn't intended on writing about this simply because it is kind of embarrassing but as I thought about it I wanted to remember how hard this day-week-month in 5 years from now and the purpose of my blog is to journal /scrapbooking any way so I guess the embarrassing parts along with it all are just as important.
The test is called the Praxis I. Some colleges call it the PPST. Once I am finished with all my classes I will have to pass a Praxis II before I can actually teach but for now passing the Praxis I is very important. If I don't pass it I will be not be admitted to the next part of the teacher education program. With only 12 classes left...I sure don't want to give up now.
If I were 19 again I would've taken this test all in one-it's cheaper and you only give up one of your days. But for me who has huge test anxiety and loss of major brain cells I split my test up into three parts. A passing grade is a 173 in math, 174 in reading and 173 in writing. Some of my college buddies have had to take it several times until they passed it and knowing this gave me some anxiety plus it is not cheap-$80 a individual test. I took the writing in Jan. thinking writing would be the easiest of the three and FAILED-made a 170. I was so discouraged. I seriously had doubt if I couldn't pass the writing portion how could I pass any-During my spring break week I fasted, prayed-and prayed some more!!! I passed writing with a 174! I was so excited. I took the math on Monday and failed...but knowing the writing was behind me I still felt like I maybe can get it!!! Today I went back and was scheduled for the reading. I pushed myself to the limit this entire week-after the kids were in bed I would do my regular homework and then study hard hard hard for this reading portion. Before the test I found myself in a mess thinking why am I spending all this money...what am I doing...who am I kidding-I should just give up now! I was seriously a mess! I tried to clear my head and remembered my goal of being a teacher not this crazy test. I was in the bathroom trying to pull myself together when I felt sure I needed to pray. So here I go kneeling in the bathroom floor at the testing center praying for mercy on this test! I had the most powerful peaceful feeling come over me as I pleaded with the Lord to take away my anxiety and help me to pass this exam. I took the test and past with a 177. I sat in the test seat and cried!!! I was totally lead by a greater power! The man in charge of the testing center said "uh are you ok?" (embarrassing) So 2 down and 1 to go. I may have to get a math tutor in the next few weeks for this crazy math one but at least I feel more confident that it can be done. My heart is full as I feel sure I am about to move on to the next level. My kids have been amazing as they have prayed for mommy to please pass her important test. Steve has stepped up to the plate to help me meet this goal we have set together. I can't wait till I can blog that the math is behind me! What a great day that will be!!!